An open letter to Caitlin, a girl I used to babysit who is getting married tomorrow

Dear Caitlin,

You were the kind of little girl that it was easy to see the woman inside--independent, and always thinking, and negotiating. Often, when I babysat, I would not see you for hours. You were, perhaps, in your room doing something or at a friends house. No matter where you were, though, you were FINE on your own. I do remember, however, that at the end of the night, often, when the others were in bed, you'd emerge for a bowl of ice cream.

I always used to wonder about you and about what you were thinking.

Now I have children of my own and I have an oldest and he has many of the same personality traits... Sometimes I wonder about him and what he is thinking. And sometimes his independence, like yours, can come across as indifference. But, also like you, it is only an exterior. There is so much underneath.

Last year, when you were in Jerusalem, I started to read your blog. It was beautiful and interesting and honest. The depth of your feeling and testimony and love for family touched and inspired me. What a great woman you have become!

Then when you announced your were getting married there came the inevitable comments. "Marriage is so fun, but it is hard."

I think I know what they mean when they say "marriage is hard," yet, at the same time, I don't. Hopefully your marriage will not be "hard." Hopefully it will be wonderful and interesting and living and growing and changing and adjusting and exciting, and yes, even after a few years, magical. Frankly, that will be up to you.

For myself, when I think about the fact that I get to wake up next to Aaron every morning, I still feel that surge of happiness that was there during courtship. Only it is tempered, now, with more gratitude and a desire to be more and do more for him than previously. He is everything to me.

Then you combine that with children and the Gospel and you'll find that your life is unbelievably full and good.

And then comments that things are "hard" will not matter so much as what the dividends are.

Well, best wishes tomorrow. You'll make a beautiful bride. It's going to be great.

Deborah