• 10:20 Picking out a sliver from EZ's thumb with a needle. Having childhood flashbacks. #
• 10:59 Exercised this morning. First time in a couple of weeks. Let's see if we can't try this again... #

• 20:50 Enjoying the quiet of kids in bed and the lovely cool breeze of evening. #

An open letter to Caitlin, a girl I used to babysit who is getting married tomorrow

Dear Caitlin,

You were the kind of little girl that it was easy to see the woman inside--independent, and always thinking, and negotiating. Often, when I babysat, I would not see you for hours. You were, perhaps, in your room doing something or at a friends house. No matter where you were, though, you were FINE on your own. I do remember, however, that at the end of the night, often, when the others were in bed, you'd emerge for a bowl of ice cream.

I always used to wonder about you and about what you were thinking.

Now I have children of my own and I have an oldest and he has many of the same personality traits... Sometimes I wonder about him and what he is thinking. And sometimes his independence, like yours, can come across as indifference. But, also like you, it is only an exterior. There is so much underneath.

Last year, when you were in Jerusalem, I started to read your blog. It was beautiful and interesting and honest. The depth of your feeling and testimony and love for family touched and inspired me. What a great woman you have become!

Then when you announced your were getting married there came the inevitable comments. "Marriage is so fun, but it is hard."

I think I know what they mean when they say "marriage is hard," yet, at the same time, I don't. Hopefully your marriage will not be "hard." Hopefully it will be wonderful and interesting and living and growing and changing and adjusting and exciting, and yes, even after a few years, magical. Frankly, that will be up to you.

For myself, when I think about the fact that I get to wake up next to Aaron every morning, I still feel that surge of happiness that was there during courtship. Only it is tempered, now, with more gratitude and a desire to be more and do more for him than previously. He is everything to me.

Then you combine that with children and the Gospel and you'll find that your life is unbelievably full and good.

And then comments that things are "hard" will not matter so much as what the dividends are.

Well, best wishes tomorrow. You'll make a beautiful bride. It's going to be great.

Deborah

• 07:31 Gorgeous morning. What shall we do today? #
• 10:37 So he's up all night and sleeps all morning. Hmmm. When does Mom get to sleep? #

• 08:43 Another beautiful (though hot) day. The boys have spent the last half hour watching the backhoe in the neighbors yard. Ahhh summer. #
• 08:45 Getting rid of all sippy cups today. Wish me luck. #
• 09:11 I'm singing some random song about what a beautiful day it is and suddenly I notice that EZ is yelling from the other room "Mom, Stop!" Haha #
• 20:43 The City's bakeoff top prize is a trip to NY to hang out with Food Network for several days. Guess who's hubby's job disqualifies her? #
• 20:44 ...Then the top prize for the writing contest is a Wii. Yeah, disqualified again. #

• 14:56 Headache. So much running through my head. #

Why Do I Take These Silly Tests???

I was intrigued after reading Mer's blog about the color quiz. My results seem accurate, I guess. But who knows? I wonder if these "results" are written such that they seem specific enough to be genuine, yet are ambiguous enough to be phony. Hmmmm. I wonder.

Either way, here are my results.

Free personality analysis of Deb.
Generated on Sun, 19 Apr 2009 20:42:48 -0700
www.colorquiz.com

Deb's Existing Situation

"In a very inactive and stationary condition, yet conflict and disagreements keep the wheels in the head constantly turning. Looking for fulfilling relationships which are affectionate and understanding, yet settles for less."

Deb's Stress Sources

"Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as herself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of herself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important."

Deb's Restrained Characteristics

Emotionally demanding and will involve herself in close relationships but won't get too involved or give too much of herself.

Current situations force her into compromise and placing her own hopes and desires on hold for the time being.

Deb's Desired Objective

"If motivated, she will easily and quickly learn new skills. Is very intense person who seeks excitement and sexual stimulation. Wants others to see her as an exciting and interesting person, who is also charming and can easily influence others. Uses her charm to increase her chances of success and gain other people's trust."

Deb's Actual Problem

"Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities. Tries to takes the characteristics she likes in other people and apply it to herself as well as coming across as a unique individual."

• 15:33 Planning out the rest of the year with Aaron. Where did April go? #
• 19:10 Dinner tonight: Grilled curry chicken, basmati with lentils, roasted veggies. Yum! So good to be home. #

Yes, but what can I make for you?

There is something deeply satisfying about feeding a good eater. I just love it. I'm not talking about someone that wantonly gorges himself on mindless, pointless, calorie-laden concoctions. I'm talking about someone that loves every bite of wonderful food for the simple flavors and goodness of them. I'm talking about juicy grilled chicken and tart summer berries and chewy, nutty brown rices, and buttery, sauteed summer squashes, and crunchy crispy peppery salads, and cold smooth lemon sherbet with bursts of zest throughout.

ASH is a good eater and I just LOVE him for it. HY was a really good eater. I had him eating acorn squash and wild rice pilaf with relish at twelve months. EZ was a (kind of) good eater--of all things savory, that is. He would rather eat spoonfuls of spinach sausage soup than applesauce and rice cereal. But who can blame the kid? Aaron is a good eater and a particularly adventurous one too, which is oodles of fun.

I just love to feed people that want to be fed.

I'v been thinking about this a lot lately--the subtle differences between a good eater and an overeater. It has been on my mind as I've been journeying through the last several months on a diet. I constantly am watching family members struggle with the temptation to overeat (and the resulting unpleasant consequences...).

In the end, I have no desire to be, raise, or encourage overeaters (eating as a vice, obsession or whatever). But I do want to raise good eaters--people that appreciate and love the varieties of flavors that God has given us to enjoy.

When I think about the fact that I have three sons (three sons!!!), it makes me want to jump up and down and spin around and laugh and laugh and laugh. One day they will all be very hungry growing teenagers. My heart practically bursts at the thought. I will get to feed this hungry brood every day! Wow! What a day that will be! And what is more, maybe, just maybe, I will be blessed with more sons by that time. Maybe we will have to have several refrigerators and several deep freezes and I will really get to use all of my mass food production skills I have be honing over the years...but I digress.

Right now my little boys are still teeny and sweet and darling and little wonders of personality and grit. And the joy of feeding them is just a small portion of how dynamic and interesting and messy my life has become over the years as a new mother. I'm sure it will only get more so as time passes.

Tonight we tried a new baby food, ASH and I. It wasn't anything spectacular, just apples with blackberries, but the flavor was so fantastic for Gerber fare that I made Aaron try it too. "Not too bad...it would be really good frozen, like a sorbet of sorts." Exactly. The best thing, however, was the look on ASH's face. Pure bliss. It probably matched mine in every particular.

• 12:55 Feeling like I'm going to throw up. #
• 13:31 Hooray! hit my lowest weight so far this morning. -57 lbs, 23 left. And all of this in spite of Richard's attempt at sabotage. #

• 11:11 Making cookies and treats for some "pay it forwards" I owe. Feeling good because I'm resisting the dough for now. #
• 11:36 Cried watching youtube. (Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent.) What is it in my genetic makeup that makes me cry at these things? #
• 21:16 Bedtime, baby! #

• 08:22 Kids still sick. Feeling blue myself. #

• 13:51 Sick, sick, sick. Thank you, Sushi, for the cold. I wonder if being sick makes you need more calories...one can only hope. #

• 13:51 Trying to avoid the cake/candy/ice cream that is all over Mom's house. #

• 11:06 Love General Conference. #
• 13:09 Stuffed. Enjoyed a classic dinner from Mom: Roast, potatoes, asparagus, carrots, jello, coleslaw, chocolate cake, ice cream. Thanks Mom! #
• 15:12 It seemed like some of the themes in Gen Conf were hope, faith, Temples, and provident living. So good to hear from the prophet. #
• 18:30 Still eating: sticky rice with mangoes. Thanks Rico, it was delish! #
• 18:30 Actually contemplating facebook. Why does that seem so junior high-ish to me...I say that as I tweet... #

• 22:49 Overate at Olive Garden with the Sis's (minus 2). Just ate a candy bar. What else can we do tonight to jump off the bandwagon??? #
• 22:49 Programming my new CELL PHONE!!!!!!!!! #

• 09:28 Gained a few pounds. I knew all those unbelievably good peanut butter cookies would catch up to me eventually. Oh yea, and the Cafe Rio... #
• 15:50 Tired. #
• 16:54 Headache. Restless kids. #

• 16:18 Home from a little road trip to Eliz's. Besides the almost constant baby screaming and bright yellow bug guts on the windshield, a good day! #