On Love

To my Dear and Loving Husband

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye woman, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the east doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor aught but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so perservere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

Ann Bradstreet

----

In an attempt to de-clutter the garage as of late, I have been thumbing through notebooks of correspondence between Aaron and me before we got married. There are literal reams. I keep thinking that one day all of these letters and notes will be a treasure to future generations in testimony of a great love story. But to me, reading it leaves me with a wealth of conflicting emotions.

One is almost akin to embarassment--like reading entries from your junior high diary, where you felt much but understood little. Another is a surge of nostalgia for the heady days of love unrequited, few serious responsibilities, and, let's be honest, the bloom of physical youth. (Did I mention there are several pictures accompanying these letters--I was a babe!) Not that I'm not still "youthful" as far as age goes, but the bloom does seem slightly tarnished. (And being seven months pregnant probably adds to my woebegone feeling.)

In reading over it all, you can practically feel the drama. Each page literally drips with tension, kindness, hopefulness, anticipation, admiration, and humor. It leaves me wondering if the very ardent expressions of affection belied in these notes really capture the essence of genuine love, and, if so, do I still feel it to the same degree. (Or am I exploring the inevitable surge of irrational emotions that accompany the last trimester of pregnancy a tad too much...)

When I think about it...I almost think that, though it's not captured on paper for posterity, there is more genuine love in our relationship now--captured in small moments like the satisfaction of working together on the yard on Saturday and falling asleep, exhausted, but holding hands.

The Lionhearted

Alright folks, I've gained 12 pounds in 4 weeks. Oh yeah, baby!

Baby girl is now being called "Sissy" or "little sissy" by HY and Aaron. During HY's nightly prayer, I often hear him say "bless sissy, that she will get bigger and bigger." Well, let's just say that his prayers must be earnest 'cause Mommy is feeling like she is getting bigger and bigger. Sweet HY. There is so much faith in him.

Of course, I forget his innocence throughout the day and get after him. It is sometimes only after he is asleep and calm, that I remember how sweet and genuine and good he is. The fun thing (and hard thing) about HY is that he is 1. smart, 2. fiercely independent and 3. sneaky. Basically HY always does exactly what he would like to do. All I can do, as Mom, is distract (for awhile), persuade (if possible), or supervise. Supervision, I have found is the best measure with HY. Because as far as distraction and persuasion go...well it's only a matter of time. Mom will eventually be in the bathroom or be busy putting EZ to bed, then it's HY Time!

"Pour me a drink my head is spinning. I gotta celebrate...a girl"

So I have been singing Shenandoah since last Friday when we found out that we are having a baby girl. Funny thing is, though, after being positive through every previous pregnancy that we were having a girl, with this one I am not sure... The technician at one point said "Oh, wait, maybe there is something more there...well... buy girl clothes, but don't take off the tags." That didn't leave me overly confident in pink purchasing. HY, however, has been telling us about his "baby sister" from the first day. We are so excited.

This One is for Jamie

There are truly few people that I will respond to in this world. Especially when it comes to "pass it on emails" and "blog tagging." But I truly love Jamie (read: wish to be like her one day) so I will make an exception. Here it goes.

A-Z Tag

A - Attached or Single: I've been attached to this boy from the first day I saw him (September 11, 1998). He's just as cute now as then. Married almost 6 years.

B - Best Friends: Aaron, Mom and Mom-in-law, Sisters and Sisters-in-law, Jamie W. AND, though I don't see or talk to them much, Sarah and Happiness will forever be my best girls.


C - Cake or Pie: Oh honey, either. Let's get serious, though. Lemon cake layered with mascarpone cheese then soaked in cream and chilled. Wipe yourself off the floor after that one. Raspberry pie doesn't hurt either. Let's have a little of both, shall we?

D - Day of choice: (Warning: This is a cheesy answer. If you gag easily, move to question E.) I love any day when I get to spend it with Aaron,... especially if we were spending it at a theme park for the day!!!

E - Essential Item: Mascara, jet black, Clinique, any kind. Oh yeah, and a good bra.

F - Favorite Color: yellow, purple, and (this is a real shocker to all who know me) that blueey greyee color that has hints at times of turquoise.

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: neither (It's so liberating to have candy that I don't like for once.)

H - Hometown: Orem, Utah

I - Indulgence(s): Perfume, makeup, Banana Republic jeans (which I haven't worn in years...*tear), and food at really really really expensive restaurants.

J - January or July: July. No contest.

K - Kids: HY, EZ, Baby #3 due in September. 3 down 10 to go!


L - Life is incomplete without: Family, and laughing. And laughing at, I mean with, family.

M - Marriage Date: 2002

N - Number of Siblings: 3 brothers, 3 sisters, 5 brothers-in-law, 7 sisters-in-law--love them all.

O - Oranges or Apples: Oranges

P - Phobias or Fears: Everyone who knows, knows that I am a tad bit on the morbid side and am constantly positive that I am going to die, or Aaron is going to die, or whatever... I am notorious for leaving "last notes" that say "I will love you forever and ever" on a post-it-note on the fridge when I leave. Just in case.

Q - Quotes: "A waist is a terrible thing to mind."

S - Season: Fall. So romantic. Don't even get me started.

T - Tag Three Friends: Honestly it would be fun to have this info on some Sisters--Eliz, Suzanne, Aliesha, Mermer, Amber, etc (Not Susannah. I know way too much about her already. Chopped Spam!)

U- Unknown fact about me: I failed the AP English exam. Ok, I said it. It is out in the open. And everyone can know. But, who cares about high school anymore? Not me.

V - Very favorite store: Williams and Sonoma. Could you just die?

W - Worst habit: Overeating., and saying way more than I should. Discretion is a virtuous ideal. One day I will have it.


X - X-ray or Ultrasound: Ultrasounds. Only x-rays I've had are teeth ones. Joy.

Y - Your favorite food: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Let's talk about what I don't like (other than poorly prepared food): eggs, green beans, oreo cookies, some mushrooms, mussels...

Z - Zodiac: Cancer (compatibility match to the Taurus which I happen to be married to)

See! I always knew that I was a giver..

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. In love, you are very protective and supporting. However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous. At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

This is so true, it's scary. At least the "When Other People Don't Get You" part. Even I think that of myself sometimes! Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Highs and Lows

Well, this year has had many twists and turns already in our little lives. My blog title has become a misnomer as currently I am NOT enjoying food--the taste, texture, or smell...but that is another blog in itself. There is, however, enough information this week to compile a (drumroll) highs and lows list.

Highs then Lows for February

H: Our tax return will pay to finish the back yard of our children's dreams.
L: Our tax return will barely cover grass, sprinkler, and fence...that's it.

H: I am decidedly not hungry for "naughty" foods.
L: It won't last.

H: The boys have finally discovered each other as best buddies.
L: Best buddies in crime... Deborah: "How did EZ get in here to swish in the toilet (play in the garage, sit on the front porch, get in the shower, eat this... etc)?" HY: "I help him...!"

H: Aaron has committed himself to the care of the boys in the morning so that Deborah can go to the gym.
L: Deborah has gone once.

H: HY's ability to communicate gets better every day
L: HY's resistance to being corrected is reinforced by his blooming communication skills.

Deborah "HY, please don't hit EZ" HY (while still hitting EZ) "I'm not hitting him." Deborah "Well please don't bonk him on the head." HY (still hitting) "I'm not bonking him." Deborah "Please stop, HY" HY (under his breath) "...I'm bamming him..."

H: Aaron and I will be participating in a reenactment of the Mormon Pioneers pulling handcarts on a 5 day trek with the youth in our community.
L: One of the necessary skills to have as per our leader handbook is "kill and prepare live fowl"

H: Aaron and I have discovered the wonders of reading Harry Potter.
L: Aaron and I stay up until 2:30 a.m. discovering the the wonders of reading Harry Potter.

H: We're going on a Disney cruise this summer with the entire extended family.
L: Ain't nothin low about that.

Here's Robin

HY as Robin Hood

Doughnuts, Dinosaurs and...Robin Hood

So, for Halloween I agreed to make 150 doughnuts for the annual "trunk or treat" party at the church. In the end, I made more like 180+, about 65 yeast-raised, and 120+ old-fashioned.

Though it seemed a tid bit like "neglect your children day," HY did have periodic fun helping me. "I make the teeny teeny baby doughnuts, ok Mom, the baby doughnuts that cry and cry...(referring to the doughnut holes)"

As far as the acutal evening festivity went: HY won an award (or I did, I guess) for his costume "Best Handmade Costume" which went up on our 2007 Wall of Fame. Everyone loved the doughnuts. And EZ takes the cake for being the best child in the world: stuffed into a hot and humiliating dinosaur costume for several hours past bedtime without making a peep of protest. I love my sweet boys!

Day 2

We wake up at 8:00 a.m. (5:00 a.m. Nevada time) to the phone ringing. It is Sunday, and we are supposed to go to church with Aaron's brother and his family at 9:00. Yeah, not going to happen...

Plan B: "Let's go to the Ward that meets at 1:00."

Deborah runs downstairs in pajamas (and no foundation undergarment) to gather something for breakfast from the 'Hometouch Breakfast Buffet' as all three boys are passed out on the beds and the buffet closes in 10 minutes .

Deborah returns with a shockingly large plate of biscuits with sausage gravy,"Cheerios" (Fruit Loops), milk, and a banana.

Finally the natives stir (minus HY) and we manage to get everybody in church appropriate attire.

Aaron wakes HY.

HY whines and walks around in a daze searching for the "Trains outside" (a carryover memory from a previous stay in San Diego)

Deborah finally coaxes HY into a tie by promising an entire bag of microwave popcorn for breakfast.

12:55, we leave our hotel room.

Aaron mumbles all the way to the car. "We can't EVER get to church on time!!!"

Deborah appoints herself as navigator since she was the most coherent family member when Heather gave directions at 9:00a.m.

Deborah quickly realizes that she was "more tired than [she] thought" when taking directions as we have difficulty finding the first street.

HY munches happily away on his entire bag of microwave popcorn and cup of Fruit Loops.

We pass by the Arlington Cemetery and take the exit to the Pentagon. Read: Away from Arlington, Virginia. "Maybe this exit will go back in a loop or something."

EZ puts in a request for a "morning snack."

EZ's request goes unheeded for the moment.

Deborah's chipper comments about how beautiful the scenery is and how "at least we are having a nice drive" start to visibly annoy Aaron who is intent on getting us to Church before Monday.

Thirty minutes later we are back to our hotel after a lovely drive through our Nation's Capital.

Plan C: Skip church (which is almost over anyway) and go straight to Ashley and Heather's. (Back to Deborah's scrawled directions.)

We find Wilson Boulevard and drive straight for twenty minutes trying to find Manchester.

We take several exploratory excursions away from Wilson trying to jog Aaron's memory of where Ashley's home is. "We're close...I can feel it."

EZ's requests for sustenance start to jangle Daddy's nerves.

EZ enjoys Mommy's finger for the remainder of the trip.

HY + popcorn = happy silence.

We finally pull over and have "Family Prayer."

Minutes later, we pull up at Ashley's home.

We spend the remainder of the day enjoying the cool weather and the fact that we are not feeling our way around Virginia anymore.

Aaron and Ashley mapquest several places so our "Sunday Drive" will not be repeated.

We return to the Hotel happy and rejuvenated.

Family Summer Vacation 2007 - Day 1

Day 1

Deborah dresses HY and EZ in matching outfits in the vain hope that it will charm the stewardesses and other passengers enough to assuage any annoyances on the plane.

HY sits on the table and eats as many of the "special plane treats" as he can find.

Deborah packs for everybody into one giant suitcase.

Aaron re-packs everybody into two large suitcases and three carry-ons.

Deborah stops to feed EZ.

HY stuffs five teddy bears, two stuffed dogs, three blankets and a Thomas the Train DVD into one of the family suitcases while Deborah is barricaded behind the Boppy. "Mommy, I all packed!"

Aaron dilly-dallies, basking in the fact that he is DONE with work for the next seven days.

Aaron quickly sobers when he sees the pile to be greased into the Buick: two large suitcases, three carry-ons, one diaper bag, one Pack and Play, one stroller, and two car seats.

Both Aaron and Deborah wonder out loud how they will get "all this honk to the terminal anyway."

Deborah feeds EZ.

-----

We arrive at the airport in record time and discover the wonder of the "Smart carte"--for three measly dollars you can rent the equivalent of three more adults.

The children cooperate beautifully and we breeze through security and arrive at the terminal with enough time to buy some expensive goodies to eat on the plane. Aaron purchases two Baja Mama burritos and a four dollar bottle of water, while Deborah buys three extra extra large slices of Sbarros pizza and a breadstick.

We board the plane--seats in the very last row.

HY watches movies and eats snacks.

Deborah feeds EZ.

Aaron contorts his body into amazing positions to accommodate EZ's penchant for nursing WITHOUT a blanket, and to shield Deborah from rubberneckers standing in line for the potty.

We arrive without incident at 11:00pm D.C. time.

-----

Deborah feeds EZ.

After picking up our new wheels (a red Dodge Caravan), we drive around for thirty minutes wondering which way might be the way to our hotel.

EZ starts crying.

In a fit of annoyance Aaron declares all maps in our car "D-U-M" and we hop on whichever highway we see first.

Finally, Deborah sees a Courtyard Marriott and implores Aaron to pull over and ask for directions.

EZ screams his guts out in the car.

HY starts whining for milk.

Aaron finds a 7-Eleven and everyone gets their beverage of choice: Aaron-powerade, Deborah-water, HY-milk, Ezra......

HY and EZ finally give up the fight and fall asleep. Aaron and Deborah enjoy the rest of the ride in blessed silence.

1:00a.m., we see the Residence Inn.

1:30a.m., everyone is settled.

to be continued...

Outsourced

Well, if I was ever viciously attacked and kidnapped out of my home, leaving the children stranded, EZ would be sorely out of luck...but HY would do just fine. This morning I woke up at about 6:30 with EZ. After feeding him and putting him back in his bed I decided to skip the gym (alright, the gym was really only a fleeting thought that was quickly dismissed) and go back to sleep. I knew HY would still sleep for about another hour. So at 9:00 I wake up with a start: the baby is fussing on the baby monitor and....what?...is the TV on?

HY had woken up and:

1. Plugged the TV and VCR in and put in a movie to watch
2. Climbed up the shelves in the pantry, retrieved a box of cheerios
3. Climbed up on the counter (with the help of a chair) and got out a bowl which he filled with said Cheerios
4. Climbed up again and got out a sippy cup and lid
5. Got a full gallon of milk out of the fridge, put it on the table and filled his sippy cup
6. Replaced the lid on the milk and on his sippy cup
7. Put the cheerios back on the proper shelf
8. Got out a hand towel to clean up the spilt milk (when I got there there was only a few drips left and a wet towel)

When I got out to the living room he was sitting on the floor proudly watching his movie and eating breakfast. "I do it myself, Mommy!"

And all this from the man that somehow cannot figure out how to actually "go" when placed on a toilet. Hmmmmmmmm.

It's Gone!

HY got his first "real" haircut today with me at our local hair salon. He was a very very good boy and held completely still the entire time with a terrified look on his face. When I took him to see Aaron at work after the haircut, Aaron about started crying. I had no idea how much the baby shag meant to everyone. Anyway, here are the pics of my little boy--a little man now with a real, little man hairdo. Such a cute kid.

Before:


After (spiky styled by HY's new personal stylist "Mindy"):


After (after bath):

Announcing Baby Boy #2

Brand New Baby Boy!


I look just like HY did!


Look at my great hair!


Just came home.


My Daddy scowled in his first pictures too.

A Whole Lotta Shakin and a Bowl of Fiesties

Life is on speed here in our little town. We are buying a house and having a baby this month--two stressful experiences that, when combined, have produced lots of tears (me) and frustrations (Aaron).

I am definately coming up to delivery time. I can tell because I am starting to cry at the drop of a hat. And Aaron is "trying to remember that this is what pregnancy is like..." Blah, blah, blah, blah. Ok, I know that women are irrational, etc, when pregnant. But here is a word to the wise: Don't ever say that out loud (or even hint about it) to your wife. Just go on like normal. No woman wants to hear "Oh....I forgot this is how you are when your pregnant."

Excuse me?

Oh no you didn't just say that...

It makes me want to say "Oh.....I forgot this is how YOU are when I'm pregnant."

I know, pretty fiesty. I said I was almost there, didn't I? All things being said, though, I have an amazingly patient and kind husband that really does try to roll with all the ups and downs of his wife's personality. And he does it with a surprising amount of grace and generosity. I'm lucky.

-------

So I've received like a million fill-in-the-blank forwards in the past couple of weeks. They're like the epidemic that never goes away. Hopefully by posting my answers here and not replying to everyone I can still do my duty in "not spoiling the fun."

Here we go:

1. What is your occupation? Mother/Homemaker

2. What color are your socks right now? Try to avoid wearing socks as much as possible

3. What are you listening to right now? Lion King DVD

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Herbed chicken tortellinni, last night

5. Can you drive a stick shift? of course

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? some sort of tourquoisey blue

7. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Shannon, the enrichment counselor in my ward

8. Who sent this to you? Mermer

9. How old are you today? 25

10. Favorite drink: Water (seriously), but pina coladas come in second with a really cold Sprite, ginger ale and/or cranberry juice coming in close behind

11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Football, duh

12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Once Happy dyed it for me, and Sushi put "low-lights" in it once

13. Pets? Definately, no

14. Favorite food? Yes

15. What was the last movie you watched? I can't remember the last video I watched in its entirety, but I did this morning watch a few minutes of "Lady and the Tramp"

16. Favorite day of the year? Way too many to pick...July 4th, Thanksgiving, any day that Susannah surprises me with stuffed-crust pizza!

17. What do you do to vent anger? Throw plates, yell and scream, hit random collectibles and antiques with my sons plastic baseball bat. No, really though, I don't know how I vent anger. I probably think of something yummy to make/eat.

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? Anything domestic on a minature scale, dolls, pretend food...

19. What is your favorite Fall or Spring? Fall, the smell of apple orchards, the crisp, cold, sunny days, the football games, the school supplies stocked in every store...it's all very very romantic to me.

20. Hugs or kisses? How about both...at the same time.

21. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry (we're talking about fruit here, right?)

22. Do you want your friends to email you back? If they would like

23. Who is most likely to respond? Susie (just comments, I mean)

24. Who is least likely to respond? Barack Obama

25. Living arrangements? TBA

26. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday, last night...pretty much all day yesterday

27. What is on the floor of your closet? Shoes, bags, (very expensive ties that some two year old finds pleasure in daily pulling down from their hanging spots)

28. What did you do last night? Cried. Signed papers to buy our first home. Made dinner. Rehearsed a 12 voice women's chorus. Brought a birthday gift to a girl I visit teach.

30. Favorite smell? Aaron's cologne, vanilla, butter, etc

31. What/Who inspires you? Family

33. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheesburgers, yummmy

34. Favorite car? Don't know...the VW Beetle is fun to drive, though. Maybe a SmartCar

35. Favorite dog breed? Yea, no idea

36. Number of keys on your key ring? Like, five billion

37. How many years at your current job? Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahah

38. Favorite day of the week? Friday

39. How many states have you lived in? two, Utah and Nevada

40. Favorite holiday? July 4th

41. Have you ever driven a motorcycle or heavy machinery? Uh, no

42. If you had a 7 day fully paid for vacation to anywhere in the world, where
would you go? Italy, if at my current weight..., some tropical destination or cruise if I was 40+ pounds lighter

High School: Orem

Favorite fruit: Raspberries, plums

Favorite weather: Sunny but cold/crisp

Like someone: I currently do have a crush on one boy...

Want piercings: no

Want a tattoo?: Only if you do it too

Last person to text u on ur phone? du u txt on ur fn?

Person IMed on-line? IMed?...do you mean IM'd?

Blue or red? Oh, honey, both

Do you speak a different language? Spanish (though "speak" is a genrous term)

How old do you act? Who wrote these questions?

Mood? Happy, yet emotional

The 4 W's Questions:

Whos in the room with you? no one

What was the last thing you ate? Tortellinni

What was the last thing you drank? Water

What color pants are you wearin? Not wearing pants currently

What is the closest item near you that is blue? water bottle

What are you wearing on your feet? nada

What instant messaging service do you use? Oh please, like I have time to IM

What do you wear more, jeans or shorts? Um, do sweat pants count?

Where do you sleep? WHO WROTE THESE QUESTIONS?

Where did you get the shirt you are wearin? Not wearing a shirt

Which is Better With The Opposite Sex __

067. Cute or pretty: Cute

068. Lips or Eyes: I would prefer that they have both lips and eyes, but if I had to choose....lips

069. Hugs or Kisses: Both

070. Short or Tall: Aaron's height

071. Easygoing or serious: Both

072. Romantic or Spontaneous: romantic

073. Muscular or Skinny?: Aaron

074. Sensitive or Loud? Sensitive

075. Hook-up or Relationship: Obviously this is a survey for someone younger than me...

076. Sweet or Caring? Both

___Have You Ever___

078. Kissed a Stranger? Not really

079. Drank Bubbles? When I was little, yes.

080. Lost glasses/contacts? no

083. Got an X-ray? yes

084. Broken Someone's Heart? Every day, pretty much

085. Had your heart broken? Sure

086. Have you been used? no

087. Cried When Someone Died? Yes

088. Cried At School? Yes

___Do You Believe In___

089. God? Yes

090. Miracles: yes

091. Love At First Sight: Yes

092. Ghosts: Whatever

093. Aliens: No.

094. Magic: Sure

095. Heaven: Yes

096. Hell: Yes

097. Cheating: Do I believe in cheating? no

098. Kissing on The First Date: Why not?

099. Horoscopes?: No

Just Go to Bed!!!!!

Well we thought we solved our problem of Hyrum going to sleep in his big boy bed. After talking it over with several parents in Utah we finally came up with the idea to put the child proof door handle on the inside of his door at night. This way I would say "Goodnight sweetheart," hand him his piggie flashlight and a couple of books and then close his door. (Later, after he was asleep I would open the door so he could get us if he needed something in the middle of the night.) This was a dynamite plan and it worked beautifully for three nights--no fussing, no messing around, no Deborah or Aaron camped on Hyrum's floor for half of the night.

However, Wednesday night Mr. Smarty Pants out-thought the system. I put him to bed about 8:30p.m., at about 10:30p.m. I came upstairs, thinking that all was quiet and well with him, and noticed that there was light coming from under his door. The little guy had simply got out of bed and turned on his bedroom light. By the time I got up there he had his entire toy box poured out on the floor, every colored ball on his bed, and he was standing on his rocking chair trying to reach items on a top shelf. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! He cracked the system!!! It's not like I can put a child-lock on the light switch. Now I have to re-think this whole thing all over again.

The Family Car

So the big conversation around the house lately is that we need another car. Maybe it is because I am pregnant and, let's be honest with each other here, out of my mind emotional and irrational, but I can't get my mind around this concept. I think I said something today to Aaron about him "not wanting to be in the same car with us anymore" and that is why he wants his "own" car. Aaron just laughed. "Deborah, I just need to be able to be on time for work without having to wait for everyone to be ready." And, you know, he has a point there. Especially since baby #2 will be arriving shortly. Plus I'm not in love with sitting outside his office for twenty minutes waiting for him to come out, or rushing through something to pick him up, or being STRANDED in this teeny little house all day. Ok, so maybe it is an ok idea after all.

The one thing about it is that I don't want to be lumped into the "Mommy and Kids" car category while Daddy has his car. Although, I guess I should have thought about that before we had Hyrum. When you have children, in a sense, you start to get all lumped together as a category in you husband's mind: wife and kids. It's like we are luggage or something. Notice it is never "Daddy and kids" car. No no no. Yet at the same time, would I want that? No.

I can see that my senses are somewhat muddled by hormones at the moment. Somewhere deep down a part of me wants to think logically and say "yes, poor chap, he needs his own transportation." After all he has basically been dropped off or encouraged to ride public transit for the last four years. By golly! Is giving the man his own vehicle the end of the world? NO! It actually would free us all up.

We'll see how I feel about this tomorrow...

It's a Boy!!!

I think I am more excited for this baby than I even was for Hyrum. I just think of how much fun I have with Hy-guy and dream about having another little guy running around with us too. It will be so fun.

Though, I have several friends in the past couple of months that have delivered with my same doctor and they all had c-sections. Hmmmm... I hope my doctor is not one of those that goes right to c-section at any potential complication. I cannot have 13+ children via c-section! No, seriously though, I am a teeny bit worried about his track record. Now I am going to have to sit down and actually talk to him about it--which will be awkward--and come to some kind of, dare I say, "birthing plan." I know, I know, I shudder at the thought of being so....so....like the kind of mothers described in the book
What to Expect While Your Expecting.

"No, I don't eat cheese that hasn't been boiled first...it may hurt the baby..."
"I sleep only on my left side because if I lay on my back my baby will die"
"I faithfully count every kick and record it in my 'baby movement journal' to speak with my doctor about"
"I've made plans with my nanny so that she will be in the delivery room with me so she can begin to bond with the baby right away."
"I expect my spouse to get up, diaper, and bring the baby to me before every middle-of-the-night feeding, then take the baby back to bed when the baby is finished eating. I need my rest."
"My husband and I have written my birthing plan and have made copies for each member of the staff at the hospital."
"My doula says...."

Seriously, if you really listened to, and followed, all the advice in that book, you would be so psycho. Come on girls, millions of healthy babies are born every day to mothers that blissfully ate cheese while laying on their backs throughout their entire prenancy. Shocking!

Labor Day

Monday started out as a pretty fun day. Aaron and Hyrum and I cleaned out the garage and then "helped" daddy take apart the car door. By the time Hyrum went down for a nap I was ready for one too. Unfortunately, I got wrapped up in reading Truman by McCullough and...three and a half hours later (yes, Hyrum was still asleep) I finally finished it. Though I love to read and it was fun to take such a long break I got up feeling a little dazed, like I had spent the last several hours watching pointless TV. Then things just started going downhill from there. Aaron was at a standstill on the car project and Hyrum had taken such a long nap that there was no chance in him retiring for good anytime soon so we were left with the dillemma of the summer: What can we do in this town for fun?

We had already been to St. George twice over the weekend so that was out, plus we were almost out of gas and short on cash. I flat refused to go back to Walmart, on the basis that we have nothing to buy, nothing to buy it with, and I have every square inch of the establishment memorized. We don't know the sex of the baby so buying baby clothes is still somewhat a guessing game. And we all were hungry, yet not in the mood to eat fast food. Aaron drove us around the town for a little while, then back home. We were SO BORED. Even thinking of going back into the boring house made me want to cry, yet I didn't want to keep driving around the boring town. It really got bad when we went inside, though. Hyrum started pulling every book off the bookshelf while Aaron and I just sat and watched. Then we got this great idea to make dinner together, which would have been fun if we had some meat in the house. Finally we settled for a box of frozen fish sticks, some quick grits flavored with velveeta, and reheated frozen mixed vegetables. You think I'm kidding. I'm not. It was really THAT BAD! While we waited for our fishies to cook we entertained ourselves by Aaron copycating me and me making a spontaneous mixture of cornstarch and water to play with (the same concoction we used to make as kids on boring Sunday afternoons, and yes I did also think of making a "volcano eruption" with baking soda and vinegar). Later I wanted to bug everyone in the house by performing "trust tests" on them. Yeah, pretty much we all reverted back to nine year old siblings with nothing to do but bother each other. After dinner Aaron and I had twinkies for dessert (to balance out our nutritous and well planned dinner), then we went to the river. It was Aaron's idea to go down to the river and it turned out to be the best idea of the day. We had a lot of fun. Aaron and Hyrum splashed in the mud, hunted rocks, and waded up to Hyrum's knees (obviously it's not that deep). Because I had shoes on I stayed on the bank and Aaron taught me how to skip rocks. We got to watch the sunset together and played until we almost couldn't see the other side anymore.

Moral: We need to find some friends in this town. I need to have better ingredients on hand. We need to go explore together as a family more. I need to bring my camera next time.

I'm thinking pink, but Aaron's not so sure

So Monday was the big day with Dr. O. He is waaaay more thorough than Dr. Glenn ever was. Besides the customary first appointment exams, weight check and urine test, he also took several vials of blood for genetic tests and an HIV test; checked my blood pressure, took my temperature, checked my eyes, ears, and throat, listened to my lungs, etc, etc, etc. Then to top it all off he did an ultrasound and we got to see the tiny little blip that is our baby and hear his/her heartbeat. HOW FUN!!!

I already like Dr. O. a lot. He is going to be a little more rigorous of a doctor so I definately have to exercise and stay on a pretty healthy diet so that I maybe won't be diabetic this time. His staff is really nice and it was a lot of fun to be somewhat of a novelty for once--the waiting room was not crawling with pregnant women like it always is in Utah. I'm also excited to deliver in our little hospital here to see how it differs from UVRMC and the huge floor of women delivering babies.

So far I haven't really craved anything in particular, except for pizza (but I crave that always-pregnant or not). Instead, it seems like everything sounds gross and makes me want to throw up (a problem I wish that would last into the post-partum stage so maybe I could lose a few pounds..).

40 minutes and 29 seconds

I did it. This morning I participated in my first 5K. I was supposed to do it with Rachael but I couldn't get a hold of her. (Susannah told me later that she probably was in Park City.) Then I was going to call Suzanne but Aaron said that he wanted to do it with me. But because of some early morning complications (ask Meridith about it), I ended up having to do it alone.

I was pretty sure that it would take me an hour to do the whole thing. My original goal was supposed to be 40 minutes but I knew that that was unrealistic for me so I just did the best I could--hoping that I would get in under an hour. Imagine my shock when I ran over the finish line and looked up at the clock: 40 minutes 29 seconds. I started to cry. I couldn't believe it--the fact that I actually finished it and in time. What in the world? How did that happen? I actually did it. I can't believe it.

My favorite part was grabbing the water from the people handing it out, drinking it and throwing it on the ground with the rest of the cups. I felt really cool--something that hasn't happened since, let's be honest, junior high or high school.

Thank you to Suzanne and Rachael for the inspiration and the encouragement and to Aaron for his constant support.

Next year I'm going to do it in 35.

Let's be honest here, who am I kidding?

Tomorrow I am going to "run" in a 5K race--something I NEVER expected to attempt, on purpose. I keep telling myself "because I didn't train, then I will just have to walk the majority of it." But somehow, that seems more like a copout and I am sick of giving myself exceptions to my goals. What would happen if I actually tried to run the majority of the race? Would I die? Probably. But, maybe not. We'll see.

I think that the real problem here is in my mind. I have always looked at people that run, and like to exercise in general, with a certain amount of disdain and pity. Like, "you poor thing...you've obviously never tried eating...it feels a LOT better than running...you must not have ever eaten well" or "what a fanatic...I'm glad I'm not in any way athletic." But the thing is, when I was little I was pretty athletic, actually. I used to climb to the top of the metal swingset and do flips and twirls like I was in the olympics. Mom would always say "you have great upper-body strength." So why do I have this huge disconnect in my adult life?

What is really funny is that, physically, I actually enjoy exercising--I enjoy running. Who knew? But mentally, I still have a block. I always think to myself "who do you think you are, pretending that you can do this?" "you are just not the exercise type" "you are big-boned, get used to it!" "you will never make it to the end of this race, that is just not the kind of person you are." "you will be plump all your life, you've always been that way and you will always stay that way" "you cannot love to cook and eat and also love to exercise and run" The other day, I was at the gym running on the treadmill and I saw some people outside running. My immediate thought was, again, disdain and disgust. "Oooooo, who would want to ever run, what wierdos, what fanatics." It took me, literally several minutes to make the connection that I was indeed running too. Hello?

Yet writing this all down, I'm beginning to think that maybe I can do this afterall.

"I like you chocolate covered strawberry apple pie a la mode"

Hyrum has thrown up six times now since yesterday morning. Poor little thing. The problem is, it is my fault. I knew that Emma, Caroline and Lukeee had thrown up and I still took the Dude over to play thinking "oh, he'll be fine...I'll just keep his hands sanitized..." Well, obviously, that didn't happen. He's been pretty good about it. He's slightly less crazy then usual, but still smiley and fun. Last night Aaron and I went to Smiths and rented our first "Rug Doctor"--an adventure in vomit clean-up that will surely not be our last as parents.

Yesterday night Aaron was late coming home from work (I found out later that he was driving around trying to find a florist to surprise me with flowers!!!), so Hyrum and I decided to make homemade sherbet. "Refreshing lime sherbet" to be exact. He stood on a chair next to me while we rolled limes on the counter and then squeezed out the juice. Soooo cute! He's my little bud, such a good little guy. He woke up at 6:20 a.m. this morning so I spent the first few hours of the day bleary-eyed and dozy following him from room to room as he played.

Our pool is open!!! I don't know why but there is something different about having your own pool in your backyard. It is soooooo much fun. We went swimming after dinner the other day and it was about 6:00 p.m. and the sun was just starting to go down. There was not a cloud in the sky and it was beautiful. I could really get used to this. I'm thinking of making my Saturday morning workout doing laps in the pool instead of packing up and heading to the gym (the gym opens later on Saturdays). Seriously, I love my life.

"You're Weird, Deborah" "No, I'm interesting...there is a difference."

I'm pretty sure that most people have obsessions. I'm not talking about psycho, stalker, OCD obsessions, or even addictions. All I mean is something that catches your fancy so completely that it becomes part of your everyday living--for a little while. People without them would be boring. I refuse to be boring. My current obsessions (this month) are as follows:

Otterpops (I have already gone through one entire box this month)
The Rec Center pools
Working out/Diet (Though it really needs to be more of an obsession than it currently is...seeing that I can singlehandedly eat an entire box (100) of otterpops without feeling guilty in the least. Plus I still seem to take the weekends off...hmmmm)
Downy Simple Pleasures fabric softener in Vanilla Lavender (seriously, I would bathe in this stuff)
Peppridge Farms Flavor Blasted Cheddar Fish Crackers (an entire family obsession, really)
Agatha Christie and David McCullough books
Avocados (I eat at least half of one a day, YUMMY!!!!!)
The Apprentice (I even have dreams of being on the show and wowing everybody with my amazing skills.....now isn't that funny, hahahahahahahha)

Snip, Snip, Snip, Ooooops

Last night for FHE we cut Hyrum's hair. Yes, the darling shag is gone. He is now a sweet little boy that looks like he attempted a self haircut in a closet somewhere. Seriously. Poor little thing. It was bad enough that he was getting it cut outside in the windy night air, but then we had me and Aaron with differences of opinion about how to go about it. Hyrum screamed and squirmed the entire time. Hence the 'head caught in the blender' hair-do. His bangs go up decidedly to the left, and there is a generous bald spot gash in the back. The only remedy seems to be a nerdy comb to the side look, but even then, we're not fooling anybody. He just plain got a bad hair cut from Yours Truly and Significant Other. He still is cute to me, though. At least he won't be as hot outside any more and when he wears a hat he won't look like a dirty trucker.

Hot, Hot, Hot!

I haven't seen any polygamists lately. It's like they came out to welcome us and then went back to their compound for the summer. Hyrum is up asleep. He had quite the weekend. Friday night we picked Aaron up from work and went to Vegas to sleepover at Elizabeth and Jayar's house. It was a blast. Auntie Sushi babysat the kids while we went to Bucca di Beppo, a tacky and boisterous family-style Italian house. The food was yuuuuummmmmy and I fell right off the 1500Kcal wagon the minute we walked into the door. Then, after dinner, we saw Mission Impossible 3, which was the first movie in several months that Aaron and I have seen. I liked it. The next day we spent driving around (Vegas to St. George then home) doing errands.

Sunday was fun, though it was another "ooops , no dieting" day. We had the fam over for some southern lovin from the oven--roasted chicken, cheesy grits, sauteed collard greens, carrots, biscuits, brownies, peanut butter ice cream and carmel popcorn. After dinner, as if I hadn't had enough to eat, I proceeded to devour about 6 otter pops. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

All in all, though it wasn't a perfect dieters weekend, I am still pretty proud of myself. Thursday night I ran the treadmill for 1.12 miles. That is a HUGE step up from the .14 miles I did the other day and was so proud of. Tonight I am hoping to be able to run the entire 1.5 miles that I am supposed to according to my training schedule. I have got to do this! I already paid the money to be in the marathon and so I cannot walk the entire thing. Rachael (who is going to do the 5K with me) said that our goal should be to do it in 40 minutes. Well, let's just say that I have been doing some calculations and I need to get more in shape to be able to pull that off. In a strange, masochistic way I really am enjoying the challenge. It is actually fun. Even though I haven't really lost more than, like, half a pound, I feel better and look better. I just hope that I can lose some weight and feel healthier before I get pregnant again. Who knows...

I am having so much fun in this little life I have here now. Hyrum and I are discovering the joys of popsicles. Hopefully the pool will be open soon so we can have a daily swim party too. Just another reason to lose weight...Swimsuit Season!!! AAAAGGGGGHHHH!

The ACLU would be proud of my little town!!!

Probably the funniest thing about living here is the "diversity." Really, if you are not standing in the supermarket line behind a seventy-year-old woman wearing booty shorts and a fanny pack, then you are behind a polyg wife in her ankle-length flannel number. All I keep thinking is that she must be absolutely melting in that getup. So it's the polygs and the geriatric club. Really I've seen more old men's pasty white upper thighs this week than you can shake a stick at. Despite that, it is sooooo much fun living here. I am enjoying it more than I even expected to. The only, and I mean only, downside is not having friends or family around. But at least now we have a telephone.

Last night, for FHE, we took Hyrum to the Rec Center Pool. He LOVED it. The kid is so dang independent. He tried, the entire time, to get out of my arms and walk by himself. It was so fun to see him discover the joys of water resistance. He is so fun. I look at him all the time and think "who knew that Aaron and I would produce such beautiful children." He is so handsome. Of course every Mom thinks that about her children, I am sure.

Right now Hyrum has pulled out some cleaning spray bottles and a scrub brush and he is "cleaning" next to me--making ssshhhh sssshhh sounds as he pretends to spray and then wiping the walls with the brush. It is pretty cute. He doesn't know that I am watching. His biggest obsession this week is brushing his teeth. Last week we took a special trip to Walmart to buy him his very own toddler toothbrush and toothpaste. Now every morning I catch him in the bathroom with paste in hand dutifully brushing his teeth. He is such a fun little guy.

Because Aaron works for the city, we have free memberships to the Rec Center. YEA!!! I have gone twice now to work on the treadmill. Yesterday I actually ran for a few minutes (exactly .14 miles to be exact...don't laugh...it's better than nothing!) I am trying to train to run (ok walk/jog/run) the 5K at the freedom festival in Utah this July. I am determined to train well and faithfully and also to stick to a 1500Kcal diet. So far, I am doing OK. It is hard when I make such yummy food all the time.... The only problem with the Rec is that in the mornings when I go (6:00 a.m.) it is crawling with senior citizens. This is good because I definitely don't feel like I need to look nice at all, but they hog the machines. We'll see what finally pans out in July. Wish me luck!

Psalms 18:2

To say that this week has been a bad one would be an understatement. We've definately seen brighter days here at the Baker house. Monday night I had a miscarriage. It was a sweet and teeny little baby boy. He was perfect. Ten fingers and ten toes. It has been hard on all of us. I even have noticed that Hyrum has had a pretty rough week. It is almost as if he senses that something is just not right.

Today has been the first really OK day. The sun came out and I got to spend some of the afternoon outside with Hyrum. He is so sweet. It is healing to be with him. All will be all right. We know that this is all part of the plan and happier days are coming.

"Don't give up boy. Don't you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead--a lot of it--thirty years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

You gotta love maternity pants!

I just got finished having my organ lesson--something I always have great expectations about but....seeing as though I am back in the old viola/piano habit of not practicing, it never turns out very well. Yes, I can play it ok. But, no, I will not be asked to play for the MoTab anytime soon. This just drives me crazy. I figure, there must be some talent in there somewhere because I don't practice and I still do ok. Hmmmmmm, I wonder what would happen if I actually did practice?

This morning Hyrum and I attended "Toddler time" at the library for the first time. This is where you take your toddler to a little curtained off area of the library where they get to hear stories, sing songs, and play rhythm instruments. I had some pretty high expectations because so many of the mom's in the neighborhood "just looooooovvvvve" it. But Hyrum, was not in the least interested in sitting still to listen to someone tell a story. (What were they thinking?) Though he was somewhat amused watching a grown man jump up and down singing "Down By the Bay." In the end we spent most of the time exploring the bottom two feet of the library shelves and crawling in and out of a giant tepee. I thought it was a morning well spent, all-in-all.

Right now Hyrum is asleep and I just finished paying all the March bills. Whew! I cannot believe we made it this month--barely squeaked by is more the term I should use. I have to quit saying things like "When Aaron gets a job we will finally buy..." though. More like "When Aaron gets a job, we'll still have bills to pay, and they will probably be bigger than ever." Seriously though, I don't mind paying bills at all. What is money for except to spend it? And it is a great feeling to have all the bills paid and to feel somewhat like a responsible adult. (Knock on wood.)

I am getting more and more excited and antsy-in-my-pantsy for April/May when we will most likely move and start a "real adult life." (read: not married students) It is so funny, Aaron and I look at each other sometimes and have to laugh--we have a child...and one on the way. WHAT DO WE THINK WE ARE DOING? We are not adults yet! But yet, maybe this is how our parents felt, and feel. Life moves faster than we do sometimes.

I just finished reading "Running with Angels" by Pamela Hansen (a lady that lived in my parents ward). It is a story about how she lost over 100 lbs and then ran in the 26.2 mile Deseret News marathon. I thought about Suzanne and Rachael the whole time and how they are normal people (read: not running Nazis, but actually people with lives) and they run marathons. How crazy. Reading it, I could almost feel myself wanting to try running, or at least starting some kind of exercise/training that is really a challenge. Now, I know that I can't do that right now, but I am trying to gear up for October/November when I can start to diet and exercise more rigidly again. I think that I want to change my lifestyle. Even with two kids and a busy husband, I think if I make it a priority then I can do it. I can't believe I am writing, or even thinking, this but I think that I want to be one of those people that LOVE to exercise and that would choose to eat 6 grain cereal with fresh strawberries and a cup of orange juice over a Sausage McMuffin Meal. Wouldn't that be wild? Can you just see me? But seriously, I am sick of eating honky, gross stuff. (And maybe this is all coming about because I am in the third month of pregnancy where I crave fresh fruits...) Though...I think I might be ready for a breakthrough. We'll see how long it lasts.

By the way, Happy birthday today to Aliesha!!!

It's Official - So much for the Diet

I guess I should have known when I started crying during a rousing game of Monopoly. Baby number two is due September 29th and we couldn't be more excited.



Just to "make sure" I had to take three tests. Yep they all came out double lined, albeit faint...it's just early.

Vegas Highs and Lows

Highs

Driving to Las Vegas with my sweet little family
Having 6+ hours to talk/laugh/dream with Aaron (while driving)
Hyrum being the perfect little traveler, hardly making a peep of complaint
Playing word games in the car with Aaron
Making home videos at Elizabeth's house
Seeing Sushi
Lazy mornings talking to Elizabeth and watching the boys play in the playroom
Cheesecake factory at 10:00 p.m. with Elizabeth and Jayar
Spending the day with Aaron on the strip (with no baby!)
Elizabeth babysitting for us, twice
Perusing the Art Gallery of Impressionist paintings
Hyrum going to sleep for the night at 6:00 p.m. because of the time change
Watching Aaron finally relax after months of constant go (He golfed with Jayar two mornings and even got some reading in.)
Watching Hyrum discover the joys of slides at the park
Making Navaho tacos (yummy)
Going to Costco with Sushi and Liz
Changing Hyrum's messy diaper and finding a bright red previous digested game piece amongst the contents
Buying jeans for me and Aaron that actually fit and don't have holes
Watching Hyrum's delight in his cousins
Just having a change of scene and a break
The peaceful drive home

Lows

Sleeping through Hyrum crying in the night (Ooops!, I only found this out the next morning when I joyfully boasted to Elizabeth that "Hyrum finally slept through the night again after a 2+ week hiatus." To which she tenderly replied "Um, he was crying when we came upstairs...we had to close our door so that he wouldn't wake Luke.")
Staying up late and waking up early
Wanting to, but never waking up early enough to go with Liz to the gym
Spending more than we planned
Hyrum waking up in the morning at 6:00 a.m. because of the time change
Wasting time lazing around
Eating more than we should have
Breaking out (yes, zits)
Not seeing Susannah as much as we would have liked
Hyrum waking up in the middle of the night
Once again, planning to, but not going to Hoover Dam
Leaving early and missing the dinner at "Rosemary's" with Mom and Dad and the gang

Tidbits

I am over at Mom and Dad's house waiting for "the fun to begin" but nobody is here except for Meridith, Hyrum and me. It seems like my scheduled little life has been a little off canter the past two weeks. That always happens when it is holiday time and family is up from Vegas and down from Idaho. I spend my days over here and Hyrum has an absolute blast with all of the big cousins running around. Unfortunately, though, I instantly turn into the neglectful homemaker--dirty dishes, laundry, a kitchen that could stand a good bleaching, and an answering machine full of dial tone messages. And I always feel horrible too because I have spent my day eating crackers and cookies and so has Hyrum. Every year, after the holidays, Aaron stomps out of our kitchen yelling "Munchies, munchies, munchies...I am sooooo sick of munchies." And every year we vow to eat nothing but broccoli, brown rice, and grilled chicken.

Today is Aaron's last day of work and I am already feeling nostalgic about how close his work was and the fact that he had a cell phone and that a paycheck came in every other Thursday morning. Aaron was really happy working for Orem City and it has been fun to see him enjoy his job.

Meridith and I, under extreme peer pressure, pierced our ears yesterday. I don't know how I feel about it today. Generally I don't wear any jewelry and it is way wierd to see earings on me. They look out of place. And my ears are stubby so they look funny. Meridith, on the other hand, looks really cute.

Stir Crazy

Hyrum is driving me LOCO today! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. He is really into wanting to touch everything right now...everything he shouldn't be touching. Like the garbage, for instance. What is so extremely exciting about a kitchen garbage? Nothing, I tell you. But if you are Hyrum, it is the unexplored treasure trove of items to examine and then casually drop on the floor. I feel like I am spending my days running after him and cleaning up. Or, if I am not doing that, he is whining and holding onto my legs...only until I pick him up and he immediately demands "dis" (while pointing to some object that he should not touch, like a pushpin)and distorts his body into some unnatural position in an attempt to get close enough to the object to get it. It is about this time of day that I start to get a little annoyed at the fact that I have not been able to get anything done that I needed to (a hot dinner is now something I can only remember, vaguely). So usually I try to take him on an outing (like to Grandpa's office or something...anything), but today we are waiting for Aaron to call so I can pick him up from school...so, anyway, I am impatiently awaiting this weekend when there will be cousins congregated in one place where Hyrum can play with them and be entertained.

Plus, the other bonus is my anniversary. I have some surprises up my sleeve for Aaron and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to 'get away' for awhile with my husband, and be a wife (read: not a mommy) for a couple of hours.

I am counting down the minutes.

Weekly Recap

Highs

Hyrum taking a few unaided steps
Making cream cheese ice cream (yes, there is a recipe for this, yummy!)
Sharing a twinkie with Hyrum and watching the delight on his face
Finding a new friend in the ward
Getting lots of comments on the food at Evening of Excellence like: "Oh, you guys had it catered?" "Who made the food..." "You should start your own catering business" "Do you do weddings?"
Finishing the Food science book and starting one about George Washington
Having my first official Organ lesson
Hearing Hyrum say "done" all by himself when he is finished eating
Walking the treadmill 60+ minutes and feeling fabulous
Spending Saturday afternoon with Mom, making food (let's be honest, she really made most of it...I chased and consoled Hyrum the majority of the time)
Watching snipets of the BYU game
Re-arranging and deep cleaning my kitchen!
Spending sunny Saturday morning on a drive with Aaron and Hyrum
Enjoying how cute Hyrum looks in stonewashed jeans, a T shirt, and a suit coat (sports jacket)
Bajio's, yummy
Anticipation of Thanksgiving and family visiting
Hearing that Clarke and Aliesha are having a Girl!
Finding out that Amber is pregnant
Watching Hyrum get down from a bed all by himself

Lows

Eating all of the leftover tarts from Evening of Excellence the next day
Eating all of the leftover food, period
Hyrum cutting his finger on my food processor blade (it has since moved locations from a bottom cupboard to a top cupboard)
Trying to but a bandaid on a one-year-old's bloody finger
Buying twinkies...and eating more than I should
Aaron being gone until 5:38 a.m. doing homework
Again, stepping on the scale...no change whatsoever
Wasting Friday night and not being able to spend any good time with Aaron
Being so completely bored on a rainy and cold day
Yet another two weeks without a date with Aaron
Hyrum dropping one of my good glass mixing bowls on the tile--it shattered, of course
Throwing up
Hearing Aaron throw up
A perfume bottle falling off the top shelf and hitting Hyrum just below his eye, giving him a lovely bruise

Who put her in charge of food? Whatever happened to BYU mint brownies and Sparkle?

Well, since I haven't blogged for several weeks, I am at a loss for where to start. Hyrum wetting the kitchen floor with glue mouse traps stuck to his hands and leg? Halloween and the attendant festivities? Winning the "best soup in the world" contest at our Ward Party? Coming home to a dead mouse in the middle of my kitchen floor (again) and little bloody mouse tracks all over my kitchen (and I mean all over)? Hmmmmmmmm. Maybe I'll just stick to Today.

Right now I am putting together the "refreshments" portion of our Young Women 'Evening of Excellence'. This year it is an "Academy Awards" theme so I wanted to make the refreshments more like fancy appetizers. Mom and I have been brainstorming and we came up with the final menu last Tuesday night while watching Martha Stewart's Apprentice. The menu is as follows:

Stuffed Mushrooms
Savory Shish kabobs (skewers of marinated tortellini, olives, zuchinni, and grape tomatoes)
Frosted globe grapes
Lemon cream tarts
Sugar dusted brownie cubes
Sweet bread assortment (pumpkin and banana nut) (not to be confused with a sweetbreads assortment)
Crudite (Fresh veggies)
Chilled sparkling wassail

And all of this for a budget of $30-$40. I love this kind of stuff--trying to come up with a menu of balance between colors, flavors, and textures. It is soooo much fun for me. I can't wait to plate them all and see how it looks. I know, I know, it is a Young Women's function and I am really going to be the only one who even notices this little buffet. Most people will look at it and be like "great, they're serving food." But, who cares. It is fun for me to make it beautiful.

See I am not the crafty type. I don't scrapbook. To be honest, scrapbooking seems like a HUGE waste of time and space to me. And crafts...well let's just say that I am not as talented as I would like to be. Ok, I can't make a stick figure cute. But when it comes to food...now that is a genre I can get into. Happily, it is also a nice diversion from actually eating food. I am just as content (or more so) to plan, cook, plate, and serve beautiful and delicious food to others as to eat it myself.

Speaking of which, I just finished reading Anna Karenina and just started reading What Einstein told his Cook--a funny and captivating book on food science written by a very witty chemist. I think this is my favorite thing about being home--having the time to do things that I love.

The Birthday Bash

Well, Hyrum made it through one year with me as his mother. Now that is a feat! We had such a fun day yesterday. Aaron and I could not wait to give him his present so we set it all up and presented it to him first thing in the morning. We got him a "busy ball popper". He seemed to get the hang of it.

We spent the entire rest of the day preparing for the party. Hyrum and I made mummy hot dogs, ghost potatoes, witches brew punch, and graveyard cupcakes. I was somewhat stressed out when 5:30 rolled along and I dropped a bowl of vegetables on the tile, which shattered everywhere--just as the guests were scheduled to arrive. But, Aaron saved the day and swooped in and cleaned it all up. He could see that I was starting to stress and he was like "Deborah, don't worry about it, I'll get it..." He knows me so well. Everytime I throw some kind of party I get down to the wire right before showtime and I start to really stress about last minute details. Aaron, on the other hand, is a master and helping me through it and we always have a good party afterall.

Not many people ended up showing, but we had a lot of fun nonetheless. Those who came were: Richard, Suzanne, Abby, Parker, and Ella, Mom and Dad Baker, Mom and Dad Jackman, and Kim Starling (Aaron's cousin).

Hyrum was an angel and had a blast with his cousins and the new toys and books. He is really lucky to have family that care and love him so much. Hyrum even got a package from his Aunties and cousins in Vegas! (We wish Lukie lived next door...)

I looked horrible--I never got a chance to shower or do makeup (this really doesn't come as a shock to those who know me well), so I was in grubbies--but the food looked good! All in all it was a great day!

Ok Kids, Let's Review

Highs

Halloween candy--candy corn, pumpkins, jelly beans, etc
Turning around and seeing Hyrum standing by himself in the middle of the room without holding on to anything
Going to a live jazz concert with Aaron
Leaving Hyrum with a babysitter, and not worrying about him all evening
Sharing a couple of Entenmann's buttermilk old fashioned doughnuts with Aaron
Bleaching the kitchen floor, bathroom sink, tub, and toilet, and disinfecting Hyrum's highchair, all in one afternoon while Hyrum napped
Handmaking Hyrum's birthday party invitations
Eskimo kisses from Hyrum (his newest past time)
Sarah stopping by for a minute
The haircut is starting to grow out
One week of walking the treadmill for 60 minutes at 3.7 mph which, according to the machine, equals about 513+ Kcalories
Talking to Clarke on the phone Sunday night
A surprise visit from Dad
Spending all day Saturday with my two boys
Watching Hyrum delight in "helping" Aaron fix the weather stripping on the doors (picture Hyrum, fascinated, trying to help Aaron hold the drill)
Buying two gallons of whole milk--officially Hyrum's new beverage as a one-year old (no more formula, hoorah!)
Purchasing baloons, streamers, glitter, ribbons, etc in anticipation of Hyrum's big birthday party
Listening to Aaron for fifteen minutes trying to convince Meridith to blog about how a boy "winky-winkied" at her at work
Having a visit from the exterminator
Strolling and dreaming through Williams and Sonoma with Aaron for a "date night"
Enjoying 1/2 pound of hot and gooey macaroni and cheese (from the deli) with the Hy-guy
Making "no-bakes" and sending them to Mer mer
Mom and Dad coming over for dinner
Taking popsicles over to Sean's house for Mer (for a picture, see the official Jackman family blog)
Having Aaron flip through a "Better Homes and Gardens" magazine and saying that he would like to try the "Pesto Walnut Turkey Breast with Onion Thyme Gravy" (He is a man after my own heart...he has come a long way since our early days together...plain chicken, plain brown rice, and broccoli...)

Lows

Experience after experience with Hyrum, realizing that, sometimes, I am not the best Mom in the world
Mouse #7
Eating nearly 1lb of "Cowboy Mix" in about a day and a half (cowboy mix: pumpkins, candy corn, jelly beans, good and plenty, and boston baked beans)
Budgeting (or lack thereof)
Going absolutely loco--stuck at the house without my bike, the car, or the stroller
Getting a babysitter only to get to the Temple a few minutes too late
Watching helplessely as Aaron carries the burden of 19 credits and the attached homework/stress load
Falling asleep with the light on...again
Hyrum's horrible diaper rash
Stepping onto the scale with giddy anticipation only to find that I have...gained one pound (I don't know...maybe it is the cowboy mix...)
Mutual night's "Lip Sync" debaucle
Being consistently late to pick Aaron up from school with no good reason why
Changing seven dirty (not just wet), sticky, messy diapers in one day

Best Wishes to Happiness

So I talk to Happy pretty much every other day. It is one of the highlights of the week.

Yesterday I blogged about her dilemmas in the boy department. Today I thought better of it. Obviously it is a very sensitive subject to her, no matter how funny and/or matter of fact it seems to me.

So, instead, here is a delightful picture of beautiful Happy. She would like to marry the man of her dreams one day (soon). We all need to pray that this will happen for her. If for nothing else so that I can throw her the huge bridal shower that I always dream of hosting. (Yes, deep down it is all about those refreshments...)

Happy (bottom, far left) and "Marc" (above her)

Another week, another review

Highs

Bundling Hyrum up and bicycling with him in the rain
Making chocolate chip cookies (and not eating all the dough) that would rival even Meridith's best batch
Spending a cold and blustery evening eating homemade soup with Mom Baker and Hyrum while Aaron worked on the Buick (see "Lows")
Dad Jackman visiting for a minute during dinner
Watching the BYU vs NM game Saturday night
Talking to Amber on the phone in Virginia
Walking the treadmill for 50+ minutes at a time, daily, and loving it
Making a dish of chicken cordon bleu that I would give me right arm to eat again (I don't know why but it tasted AMAZING this time...probably the fact that it was at the end of a Fast Sunday had something to do with it)
Having the crop of spider infested ivy pulled out from around the house
Actually communicating with Celio, Grandma's "Mexican worker" in broken Spanish (I felt distinct joy in being able to understand and speak back to him in Spanish and it made me want to take out all my old Spanish literature and flash cards to review.)
Watching Mom communicate with Celio in Espanol mucho mejor than me
Long evenings dreaming with Aaron about the future
Having insulation put into the roof and enjoying the immediate benefits
Getting a haircut (just the experience alone)
Spending Friday night with Aaron and Hy-guy at Bajio's. Yummy!
Watching Hyrum voraciously stuff his little face with fistfulls of Spanish rice and black beans at Bajio's
Spending cold nights snuggled up to Aaron and reading Anna Karenina

Lows

The boy haircut
Finding out that the Buick has more than just simple "brake problems"
Overextending the budget because of said Buick
Furthermore, having to use the blue diesel station wagon in the meantime, ironically named "blue thunder" by Dad Baker (though, this could also be on the "highs" list because it is actually pretty fun to drive, albeit stinky)
Having the insulation guys empty the attic of its various contents (including wooden planks, a crate, and a huge old antenna) and leave them on our front lawn (these items in conjunction with the old rocking chair that is still drying outside and "blue thunder" make our house look like white trash central)
Seeing mouse #5 scurry across the kitchen floor
Aaron working on homework until 4:00 a.m.
Narrowly escaping another childhood accident with Hyrum: finding him innocently holding one of the set mouse traps in his hands that, for some blessed reason, didn't go off
Eating 3/4 of a batch of cookie dough
Cooking the other 1/4 and eating them too

Oh yeah? Well your Mom looks like a boy!

Usually Carol does a great job. Like last time. But this time...it was like she was taking out some aggression on my hair. Whack! Whack! Now I look like a boy. Actually, it is more like Julia Roberts hair in "Hook." (Gasp!) But it will grow out, you say? But you don't really go anywhere anyway, you say? That's not the point! Why is it that when I finally save up and go...to an actual "stylist"...it's like I am always trying to achieve the "she looks nice" status and never quite getting there. No matter what I do, I look like a tired Mommy. If it's not the hair, it's the outfit. And vice versa. It's really sad. When I go shopping now, I always seem to gravitate towards the sweatsuit/exercise/sport/lounge-wear. Anyway, I am determined to grow this hair out to sexy status and lose enough weight to fit all my Banana Republic pants. Maybe by next summer...

Bye the way, I don't know why nobody has nominated me for "What Not to Wear," yet. How many years do I have to wear three day old, oversized, paint stained, sweatpants in public before someone takes notice.

Ok, I am being a little dramatic. Besides, Aaron says that he likes the haircut and that it is "cute." So that is really all that matters. I just have to wear pink and a lot of makeup.

A Brief Moment in the Rain

Because today is so drizzily and blustery I thought that another poem would be appropriate. (Sorry, Susannah.)

This is one that I wrote during one of my creative writing classes at UVSC. The assignment was to write a Haiku. This is what I turned out--obviously not a Haiku. However, though I didn't technically do the assignment correctly, this poem did get picked up by one of the literary magazines of UVSC later in the year. (Notice the allusion to a kiss. About 75% of my poetry from this time of my life has some reference to kissing. Hilarious. So me.)

the searing flash
of angry electricity
waltz and curve toward
my house, and mouth, agape
like the conclusion of an
unpredicted kiss

Week In Review

Highs

Walking on the treadmill daily
Enjoying walking on the treadmill
Sticking to a diet for at least a couple of days
Getting several quarts of grape juice from grapes in my backyard
Girls night out during "Priesthood session"
Watching Hyrum eat Thai food with passionate zeal
Eating Thai food myself
Watching Hyrum discover new toys
Spending Friday with Aaron
Spending Saturday with Aaron
Crisp cold yet sunny days with only the screen door closed
Getting carrots and chives from my own backyard
Riding the bike with Hyrum to the grocery store in the cool fall afternoons
Conference
Seeing Meridith
Seeing Meridith spend over $100.00 of her own money on clothing!!!
Spray painting the ugly gold foiled rocking chair white
Trying on clothes at Gap and looking (somewhat) good
The starting of a new month and a new month's budget
Getting paid for used baby items (see "lows")
Eating the salad from Pizza Factory (yummy!)
Talking with Happy in New York

Lows
Eating chocolate cake for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and dinner
"Teaching" the beehives to "make" biscuits (ok sister baker, now that I, like, mixed all the dry ingredients with the milk, when do I put the shortening in?? [Sister Baker: "AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH")
Hyrum getting electrocuted by touching the exposed wires on the treadmill
Touching the exposed wires myself to "see if they are what hurt Hyrum"
Hyrum knocking a giant can of food off the shelf only to land on his toe
Standing on the scale and seeing the exact same number as last year (in November)
"Talking" with Aaron about Walmart and the "responsibilities of businesses in society" for over two hours
Hyrum falling out of the stroller at Banana Republic
The horribly embarassing experience of trying to sell used baby items to "Kid to Kid"
The BYU football game against SDSU
Having nothing in the fridge except for milk, water, old grapes, swiss cheese, an apple, some rubbery carrots, sour cream and condiments
Feeding Hyrum chocolate cake for breakfast, spice cake for lunch, and white cake with peaches for dinner (what kind of mother am I?)

"You know, these are some nice Grandmas you've got here." - Aaron Baker, pointing to my five generation maternal line picture on the wall

I started a food journal this past week. I thought maybe that it would help me to figure out why I eat. But, I was thinking about it. I know why I eat. Because it is FUN, it tastes yummy, sometimes I am bored, because everyone else is eating, because I am on the phone with Happiness, because it is in the fridge etc, etc, etc. Pretty much, if I am breathing, I am thinking about what next to eat. Over the weekend I made and then ate an entire fresh peach pie....and then at least half of a large Papa Murphy's pepperoni pizza. Granted, it was dang good. But really, I have a serious problem. We're talking "shift the whole focus of my life" problem. But, I am determined to overcome. I actually look at biscuits and cookies and say outloud to myself "Skinny girls don't eat you. I won't let you ruin my diet. I won't let you keep me from fitting into my white Banana Republic pants next summer."

This little psychological exercise only works about 20% of the time, unfortunately. I just keep giving myself reasons to break the diet. "It's Sunday." "It's Friday." "I have guests over." "I need to make something 'fun' with these peaches." "I should make a treat for the neighbors." "I need to make something 'fun' for Aaron." "It's Saturday." "We need a treat for Family Home Evening." "It's mutual night."

So, anyway, Mom and I moved her treadmill over to my house last Friday. It is now in my basement and I have actually used it several times. I sincerely enjoy exercising--that is not my problem. My problem comes in the over-indulging in eating. I mean, probably 'one piece' of peach pie would have been fine. But no. I have to eat the whole thing.

I am trying to learn to replace eating with something else...

This is a post, written by Susannah, from the family blog. It is so hilarious. I am amazed as Susannah amazingly accurate dialogue from weeks ago. Even reading it now causes me to burst into a fit of tummy cramping laughter.

(Deb and I were hungry at about 10 p.m., so we drove around my area of Vegas looking for some place open. We went to Papa Johns and they were closed except for deliveries and we didn't have the cell phone with us. Then we went to McDonalds and tried to walk in, but the doors were locked and a lady inside was waving at us and yelling, "The drive-thru is open!" We were crying from laughing so hard and we were spazzy...let the hilarity ensue)


McChick: "Welgum to MaDonods; can I tik yo oder?"
Deb & Sue: *SNICKER*
Sue: "Yeah, uh...just a minute"
...
*SNICKER*
...
Sue: "It says hashbrowns next to the fries, can I get hashbrowns at night?"
Deb: "hahaha. I dunno. Ask her."
Sue: "Is she there? Can I just start talking?"
Deb: "Just talk."
Sue: "Uh....hello?"
McChick: "Huwwo? Can I tik yo oder?"
Sue: "Yeah, uh, can I get hashbrowns at night?"
McChick: "What?"
Sue: "Hahaha. It says hashbrowns by the fries, can I get hashbrowns right now?"
McChick: "No"
Deb: "Hahahaha!"
McChick: "Can I tik yo oder?"
Sue: "Uh...just a minute. Hahaha."
Deb: "I just want a hot apple pie. I'm going to get two of them. I just want a hot apple pie."
Sue: "hello?"
McChick: "hewwo?"
Sue: "Can we get two hot apple pies..."
McChick:"We're out of those."
Deb & Sue: HAHAHAHA.
Sue: "They have peach. Just get peach."
Deb: "I. DON'T. WANT. PEACH! I WANT A HOT APPLE PIE!"
Sue: "Hahahahahahahaaaahhhahaaahahaaa!"
Deb: "I'll have a hot fudge sundae."
Sue: "Ok, uh, can we get a hot fudge sundae."
Deb: "Lets get chicken nuggets.
Sue: "How many?"
Deb: "Uh...5?"
Sue: "K, we'd like the 10 pack of chicken nuggets."
Deb: "Two cheeseburgers."
Sue: "And two cheeseburgers. And a BigMac meal with a diet Coke.
McChick: "Will that be all?"
Sue: "Yeah. And a hot n spicy McChicken."
Deb: "Hahahaha!"
car behind us: **HONK, HONK!**
...
Sue: "Hey Deb, did I get my fries?"
Deb: "Yeah, they're right here" *shoves fistful in her mouth*
...
Deb: "Wow, that was a lot of food."
Sue: "And you still have two cheeseburgers left."
Deb:"Uh..." *sheepish grin*
Sue: "One?"
Deb: "Ok, so I'm fat!"

To Elizabeth

Here is another poem, written in my pre-married/pre-children days. I love it how I would write poems about topics that I really had no idea about. But, isn't that just like me anyway--to wax poetic and think that though I had never been there, I understood it anyway.

Today I am dedicating this poem to Elizabeth--a woman with enough passion left to can. She'll know why.

"Honey"

Honey-buttered bread
is what we'd eat
those evenings
when she'd hold her breath
waiting
for me to settle down, to doze off--

the golden drips
that echoed the flame in her eyes
would fall and burn stains on the carpet under me.
Across the table,
she'd smile at my stickied, baby-tooth grin.

But sometimes,
from a corner
I'd watch her clean the stickiness
and observe as her glowing mask
would briefly crumble to surface
a bored woman--

drenched in all that honey
and dish towel hair
playing housewife, wiping nose--
patiently canning her passion in bottles
for pouring on later
like
honey
on bread.

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day after all. The beginning was somewhat stressful. I had about a million things on my mind...teaching the lessons for sunday school (family history and temple work) and for the beehive class (every person is divine and eternal), singing in church, visiting new beehive girls, packing for vegas, getting to the airport on time, making the flight bearable for Hyrum and/or passengers around us, etc. Aaron was a huge help all weekend basically putting everything on hold to help me. He was wonderful. I am so lucky to be married to him

The airport experience began on a tense note. We were running a tad behind...then when we got there we found that the plane had mechanical problems and was going to be delayed "at least an hour" and was "booked solid" meaning that I would have to hold Mr. Wiggles on my lap the entire time. (If I was a believer in bad omens, now was the time to panic. September 11th, flying, plane with mechanical problems...) Anyway, so Aaron said goodbye to me and a very very very "I missed my afternoon nap" tired Hyrum at about 6:20 p.m. and the security check in. Unfortunately, we didn't finally board the plane until 7:50 p.m.

But, Hyrum was an angel. He happily played with other little kids in the "play area" next to our terminal the entire waiting time. He was such a sweet little soul exploring the new toys and periodically looking up at me with happy red rimmed eyes.

Then, they let me board first and it turned out that the plane was NOT booked solid and so I took the car seat right on with me and buckled him up in his very own seat...far away from people (there was about five empty rows between us and the rest of the passengers). He seemed to enjoy the ride and it was fun to see his different reactions to the new sensations of takeoff, turbulence, and landing. The two stewardesses were quite taken and spent a lot of time showering extra attention on Hyrum. He loved it. It was so fun for me because I spent the entire flight talking to and playing with Hyrum. I go to look at him...really look at him and see how handsome and sweet he is. We laughed together and interacted and I discovered, much to my surprise, that he is no longer a little baby but a very alert and intelligent little boy. I found out that he is getting a new tooth that I can actually see. I also discovered that he waves hello and goodbye. He is also vocalizing so much. I love to hear his squeals of delight, babbling, and watching him as he picks up food and feeds himself. He is so sweet. My heart nearly burst with joy to be able to be with him and have some time just to sit there and enjoy it. It was quite an experience.

After we landed we waited until the plane was completely empty before we got off. One stewardess carried the car seat out for me (we had to use the stairs from the plane out to the runway) then another man took the seat right from her and carried it to the terminal for me. Then as I was juggling the luggage, Hy-guy, and the seat to baggage claim another man came up and took the car seat for me. Everyone was so nice and like I said...Hyrum was a perfect angel. Elizabeth and Susannah met me with a bag of candy. Life was almost perfect. Just add Aaron Richardovitch and we would have had a done deal. Heaven.

It's Autumn Time, It's Autumn Time

So, we are officially starting our Fall menu in the Baker house. Friday we had homemade creamy pesto over penne, grilled chicken, and yellow squash. Divine. Saturday we had "Autumn Chicken": Chicken, lightly breaded, with pears, cranberries, garlic, green onions, and walnuts; wild rice with herbs, and red cabbage. Not only was it good. It was Gorgeous on the plate. I think that next time I make it I will take a picture. We had fresh peach slices with whipped cream for dessert. YUMMMY. So yesterday we tried a new recipe: "Ham and Apple Skillet". It was pretty good. Ham, apples, onions, carrots, etc in a creamy mustard sauce over brown rice. Top that off with a heaping spoonful of homemade cinnamon pear crisp and fresh whipped cream. Tonight, French Onion Soup...

As to my "diet", ummmm, it's suffering.

The Crazy Man I Sleep Next To

Well, Aaron is taking 19 credits this semester. And he is also working and TA-ing in addition to that. I thought that the semester that Hyrum was born was bad, (Aaron working at Target every other night while I spent my evenings and early mornings alone "napping" and breastfeeding...) but this one...well we'll see how it turns out. I am trying to figure out how to be "supportive." Supportive is such an illusive term, I am finding. What does it really mean anyway. It is an interesting position, being the wife. Don't get me wrong, I mean, it is a lot of fun, but you get put into a passive role sometimes. Translation: supporter.

Motherhood, the Grand Experiment

Hyrum is the funniest little person that I know. He is so smart and I have a hard time not laughing and smiling at him when I should be making a stern face and saying "no, don't put that ladybug in your mouth." It is just the look on his face that kills me. It's like he crawls around the house as fast as possible (almost to the point that he topples over head first) stuffing whatever he can find on the floor into his mouth as quickly as he can before I get over to him. He has this mischevious twinkle in his eye all the while and I have to wonder to myself if the half masticated ball of lint in his mouth is worth the effort of prying open his tiny pursed lips.

Of course there are some things that I have to draw the line on. Like the electrical outlet in his room that almost constantly fascinates him. He would love to spend his days pulling his nightlight out and putting some other toy into the hole. The other day when I saw him crawl over to the outlet with his hand poised to grab the light, I said "Hyrum" in the most grown-up and authoritative voice I could think of. Right as I said his name Hyrum didn't miss a beat and let his little hand, which was in mid-air ready to latch upon the light, come down in a perfect swoop to pick up a toy that was laying on the ground next to the outlet. He then turned to me with a look like "what, I was just going for this toy, Mom." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. He is so smart. It is so much fun. I find myself waiting for his naps to be over so we can play again.