In The Mouth of Babes - A Sunday Pick Me Up

You know, you wonder to yourself when your children are wiggling on the floor and sitting on each other's heads during Family Home Evening and Scripture Study, if they are actually listening. But every once in a while you see glimpses of heaven.

Lately, Hyrum has asked me to sit down and be scribe at the computer as he dictates his "novel." (He is quite interested in writing, reading, and illustrating things as of late.) We have done this the past two Sundays and, though it is somewhat repetitive, I have been humbled by his sweet testimony (and rocking diction...makes an English grad proud!). I wanted to copy it here on the blog to remember it, realizing fully that it reflects far more on the stature of his spirit than the quality of our parenting. Clearly.

Here is the transcript thus far. In typing for him, I have only stopped occasionally to help him choose a different word from say "importantest" to "most important." The body of the text, in its entirety, is his.

The pearl of great

Chapter 1

Believe in God and read the scriptures and the Book of Mormon. The Bible and Book of Mormon teach you what to do. Do the right things to live with Heavenly Father again. The testaments are true. Ponder and pray the things that you must do to live and read the Bible and Book of Mormon with Him.

Chapter 2

The keystone is Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. The little bricks are--one of them is--testimonies. And also one of them is, read scriptures and the Bible, and the Pearl of Great Price, and the Doctrine and Covenants. And another one of them is the Holy Ghost. The articles of faith is one of the bricks too. The keystone is the most important. It is in our life. The keystone is it. 

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

by Hyrum Baker, March 13, 2011

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Chapter 3

The Church is true. Believe in the Gospel. Have family home evening, and listen to the prophets. Watch Stake Conference, and General Conference. These things are important. This is another testament of Jesus Christ. This book was translated by Hyrum Baker.

Chapter 4

You must read the Book of Mormon and the Bible. These things are the most important. Believe in God. Knowledge of the truth. Listen to the Holy Ghost.

The End 

Chapter 5 - Article of Faith - New Story Index

1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.   

2. We believe that man will be punished for their own sins and not for Adam’s transgressions.

3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

Back to the Pearl of Great

Let’s talk about Joseph Smith

Joseph Smith went up to the HIll Cumorah and he found the golden plates, but before he could take them, the Angel Moroni came and told him not to take the golden plates.

Every year for four years. The angel said I’ll teach you in the second year, third year, fourth year. The fourth year he could take the golden plates, but before he could take the golden plates, Joseph Smith knew he had to translate these golden plates. 

Hyrum Baker, March 20, 2011

The End 

Chapter 6

Read Doctrine and Covenants and the Book of Mormon. Do you remember the keystone in this story? Let’s talk about the keystone some more. And the little bricks too.  We will be resurrected in life. In these things, you will read this real testament. Read it every day and every night. This book is the very importantest book of all books. The book will be copied ten pages. The pages are important.

Chapter 7

Doctrine and Covenants has the Articles of Faith. There are some at the top. Did you read them? Yes or no? You are supposed to.

Now we can talk about another story of Joseph Smith. When Joseph Smith told somebody in one place and other people, they laughed at Joseph Smith. The person who he talked to the very first, made him go off his trailer. Joseph Smith wanted to tell more people about it--what he had seen. They laughed at him because they went to a bad church. Joseph Smith had to restore the church, and he did.

Chapter 8

Let’s talk about some of the Book of Mormon. Alma and Amulek were good people. Zeezrom tried to fight them, but Alma was a true prophet and Zeezrom obeyed him and some people got mad at him and took him to the judge and the judge asked him some questions and yelled at them. But they couldn’t trick him. The judge ordered them to be put in prison. 

The End

Tid Bits and a Tad Much

The ultrasound tech gave us an unmistakable (read: not appropriate) snapshot of our new little BOY to be. Wow! I don't think I have ever seen such a clear shot. After sending a few text messages with the ultrasound pic, and getting some hilarious responses from my siblings:

"Wow, he certainly is [a boy]! Wow!"

"Yes. That is either definitely a boy...or a girl with a tumor."

"Wow. It has it's own weather system..."

Aaron asked, in the interest of...well everyone...I stop sharing the centerfold pic.

Hyrum reacted to the news with surprising emotion: "No. We don't need any more brothers..." Ezra was happily content with the idea of a new "brothy" and Asher flat refused to accept the inevitable. Even today, when you ask about his new baby brother he will promptly correct: "No brother. Baby girl!"

To celebrate the news we took the family out for meat and potatoes at the local diner--some "guy" food.

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Last night, I found a zip lock bag stuffed with size 6 tighty-whiteys stapled shut and hidden in Hyrum's closet. What he was planning to do with it today, I truly have no idea. But come rain or high water...he's prepared!
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I've gained 18 pounds in the last 8 weeks. That is roughly 2.25 pounds a week. That takes consistent effort in overeating, folks!

So, as a consequence, I decided to be on a "better for me" diet (like 2000 calories emphasizing fruits, veggies, whole grains, and lean proteins, blah, blah, blah). It went pretty well today until breakfast, where I had two bowls of Blueberry Morning cereal with milk. After estimating the calories consumed as, oh somewhere around 1000, I promptly opened the freezer and pounded down as many twinkies as I could muster the courage to do so. So there, you stupid diet!

In other news, despite the burgeoning belly, I am still exercising every morning with my great friend, Ashley. She is looking great. I am looking more and more like Bessy. Moo.

That being said, life is so so good and sweet. Ez and I sat outside yesterday eating ice cream (him) and lemon sherbet (me) just watching people walk by and admiring the clouds. For a moment I felt absolutely giddy with bliss.

I remembered hearing a single friend of mine lamenting "all I want to do is stay home, have babies and make cookies...is that really so hard..." I just laughed because that is precisely what I get to do every day.

Not a bad gig, really.

"If You Can Bake a Cake, You Can Land a Man"

Today is National Chocolate Cake Day.

Who comes up with these ideas, I don't know. But heaven bless them.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all took the time today to make a chocolate cake?

Post Script or "Mom, why did you boil the garbage?..."

p.s. Dinner tonight was amazing--Campanelle with Asparagus, Lemon, Carmelized Onions, Pecorino Romano, and Balsamic Reduction. 

Somebody really should come over so I don't have to sit and enjoy it alone while three little boys unite in a cacophony of "YUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEXT TIME YOU MAKE THIS, DON'T PUT ANYTHING ON IT! YUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Later, they had oatmeal.

So there.

Regrettfully They Tell Us, But Firmly They Compel Us, To Say Goodnight....To You

I was going to blog, but I have nothing to say.

Really, I just want to eat chocolate and watch The Sound of Music with Aaron.

I think I will.

Ezra May Have It

We couldn't tell. Though there were some moments throughout the ultrasound that we thought we saw "boy parts," as the technician called them.

The whole process, and idea of 4 BOYS made me giggle for the rest of the day.

We'll try to see it again in a couple of weeks.

X or Y?

We are having a baby in May. And everyone in the house has ants in their pants to find out if it is a girl or a boy. I have been campaigning for months now, unsuccessfully, for a delivery night surprise, but tonight around the dinner table I was out-voted 4-1. Tomorrow is ultrasound day. And if baby will cooperate, we will know our fate...

In similar news, Ezra is the only stalwart predicting a boy. Hyrum and *Asher are solidly in the pink category. (Though Hyrum conceded that it "might be twins...or triplets." [Oh my!]).

Aaron and I are, understandably, non-committal when it comes to the gender prediction process. I have come to terms with the fact that I, really, am not in charge here. Clearly.

*Asher, predicted a girl very early on in the pregnancy and even told us a name. "Beth, baby girl Beth!" he proudly stated.

A Meandering, Yet Heartfelt Open Letter of Love (Read: Not Love Letter) To Ben, My Brother-in-Law

There is something so absolutely remarkable about the inner workings of a family. This hit me yesterday, as I sat with my 12-year-old niece enjoying parody via YouTube. We laughed out loud for a good solid five minutes and then I razzed her about her latest orchestra-class crush. And I thought to myself "I'm so glad to see you! I'm so glad to be with you!" 

Only in families do you cheerfully and eagerly delight in the budding teenagers around you, the idiosycracies of your Mother, and the consistently bossy and slightly innapropriate social skills of your sister-in-law (Ok, fine, that one was me...We are all working on something, right?). 

This singular phenomenon is no more striking to me than when it comes to my brothers and my brothers-in-law. I LOVE them. Nowhere under heaven does a woman have quite the same relationship with a man as she does with her brothers--a situation where there is complete freedom to be yourself, and not worry so much about complicated man/woman communication skills, flirting, etc. You are absolutely free to love all the great and interesting and funny things about them and let their wives worry about the rest.
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I've been thinking more about brothers lately because this year for Christmas my mother assigned each of us to write a letter of appreciation and admiration for another sibling. I was assigned to Ben Crowder--the brilliant man who married my little sister just over one year ago--an easy task.

Ben is brilliant. He is endlessly informed and hillariously idiosyncratic, not to mention completely easy to be around. If nothing else, I should just love him for the fact that he consistently submits to the endless harassing from my children to play. (And they crawl all over the poor man.)

But he is much more than that to me.

Ben is a seeker of knowledge. And in this he has completely captured my sisterly heart. I LOVE this about him, because it challenges and opens my own mind. He is interested in things and, therefore is interesting himself. I follow him on twitter and, throughout the course of one day his tweets can run from current events and favorite fonts to his latest drawing and online software rumors.  (My twitter thoughts, on the other hand, generally surround laundry and toddlers.) When I talk to him in person, he often pulls out his phone and researches what we are talking about, then adds more to the conversation (I know that sounds really sort-of freaky, but if you think about it, it is actually really cool.) He doesn't talk to people just to be nice but, instead, learns from everyone and everything.
 
He doesn't really care a whole lot about sports.
He is very kind to my little sister.
He loves cilantro.
He makes crazy pictures on photo booth.
He plays the piano.
He loves good literature.
He can't truly see anything without glasses.
But with all of these, he is still very much a man.

And my life is much fuller because he is my brother.

Santa "Craftsman" Claus

For the past three months H has been compiling his Christmas list. I laughed out loud when I re-read the final draft last night.

The List
File
Small metal shovel
Small plastic and wooden rake (?)
Small metal post digger
Small metal wheelbarrow
Chisel
Monkey wrench
Small "C" clamp
Small metal and wooden hammer
Gorilla glue
Wood glue
Measuring tape
Breaker bar
Level
Real triangle screwdriver (?)
Circular file
Needle-nose pliers
Tool box with a lock
Small crescent wrench
Mallet
Safety goggles
Scraper tool (putty knife)
Micrometer
Ruler
Punch
Striking wrench

Clearly Aaron's buttons were bursting. Who is this kid, anyway?

Thursday's Deep Thought

Artichokes could, possibly, be the least user friendly vegetable. Who first looked at the blossom of the thistle plant and thought "what the heck, I'll hack off most of the outside of this and eat whatever is inside..."?

They are inordinately pretty, though. I would, almost rather have them whole as a centerpiece than go to the work of actually preparing them. But maybe that is just being lazy...

Back By Popular Demand

Highs

• Winning a local Chili Cook-off with Sous Chef H (Hurrah!)
• Watching General Conference and the RS Session
• Maintaining exercise 5x a week at 5:15 a.m.
• Developing a "almost there" gourmet cupcake recipe incorporating 5 or 6 baking discoveries (haven't yet mastered the frosting, but it is super close)
• Visiting Teaching = done!
• Spending the weekend with [prego] Auntie Mer and [not prego] Uncle Ben!
• Finding out some Really Good News!
• Enjoying the, finally, cool weather. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!
• Not desiring dessert or second helpings
• Basking in the autonomy of the boys ages
• Bowling a dang good game
• Wrestling with the boys in the front room
• Coming to the surprising realization that I'd really like the next baby in the family to be a boy
• Planning the details of hosting Thanksgiving
• Reading The Hunger Games
• Finding chicken breast on sale for $1.25 per pound
• Bottling 15 pints of chicken (Thanks, Ashley!!!)
• Getting invited to dinner
• Loving the structure that having a child in school brings
• Napping next to my babies
• Making new friends
• Riding bikes to school and not sweating profusely
• Enjoying the simple luxury of living in a small town (paid the local doctor in cinnamon rolls after he pulled a rock out of A's nose...it's another story for another time)
• Spending most of the grocery budget in the first week...again (p.s. We need a cow, preferably lactating)
• Finishing the laundry all in one day, including putting it all away! (this is big, folks)

Lows

• Watching General Conference in HD = the uncomfortable feeling of being personally perched on the podium (I noticed bad teeth, red and tired eyes, moist nostrils, interesting skin discolorations, the works...)
• Feeling very, very tired
• Gaining weight despite the awesome exercise routine
• Eating pounds and pounds of candy corn, mellowcreme pumpkins and "cowboy mix" (shoot me)
• Eating dessert and second helpings despite having no real desire to do so (this may correlate to that pesky weight gain thing...)
• Putting away the skinnier "goal jeans" for awhile
• Just feeling very chunky lately (...are we sensing a theme here...cupcakes, feeling fat...)
• Forgetting to send H's homework with him when it was due
• Making some interestingly creative end-of-the-month sack lunches for H and, suddenly realizing that, despite all, I have turned into my mother
• Telling an entire roomful of peers that I never clean my kitchen floors (it is true, but still)
• Reading most of Genesis with Aaron and feeling very much annoyed (Is the entire Old Testament solely about procreation? And incest? Hmmmmm.)
• Making a cookie recipe from a local bakery using shortening (shudder), and throwing most of them away
• Wasting precious calories by eating some of the aforementioned disgusting cookies
• Trying to run an organization with dwindling participants and tiring of the grind
• Going to the RS Session's Stake before-the-broadcast social = older ladies, older lady food, older lady conversation, older lady smells, etc

And Now For an Update

Don Juan de H

H started kindergarten with gusto and I, classically, neglected to bring the camera. Oh well.

The Report
He's doing well, of course. He's older in his grade, plus he's brilliant to boot. (Oh, Moms are so jaded!) No, really, it has been fun to see him excel in a structured environment. And none too soon. I was about ready to sell him to the gypsies, come August.  What, with all of the deconstruction around this home during the summer--BBQ, bicycles, toy cars, vacuum cleaners--not to mention his curious habit of dumpster diving and then creating various "inventions" with, say, toothpaste tubes.

But let's get down to what really matters...
Though it has only been a precious few weeks, he seems to have already found a love interest--Alexis. And what a babe she is! (You know, that kid has an eye...) She has now replaced the "Lily" of pre-school fame. Her name (Alexis, not Lily) is suddenly doodled all over various papers and posters, "maps" and "books." It is all I can do not to barrage him with questions...

Anyway, the other day, I happened to be chatting with Alexis' mother and she mentioned that Alexis is "in love" with Ian, some boy who pledged his devotion on the very first day of class. Oh! How my heart sank for H!

H, however, seemed unfazed. When I quizzed him about Ian, later in the day, he simply quipped "He likes Alexis too.."

Well, well. That's my boy. Game on.

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By the way, I feel so, so official. A Real Mother! I have thoroughly enjoyed packing lunches, dreaming up amazing after-school snacks, supervising homework, and enforcing bedtime because "it's a school night." I know that this euphoria will wear off soon.  But for now, while the pressure is low, life is very, very good.

Grumpy Sweaty Done

I am pretty much done with it being 110 degrees outside.

It is getting mighty old, let me tell you.

Bring on the crisp, romantic fall!

Bring on the football, the General Conference, the sweaters and jeans.

Let's just skip September altogether. Who's in?

P.S.

Aaron, without you I am lost and grumpy. Please come back and get me...

Can't Sleep

I am a Woman.

I am powerful because I am. Nobody has to tell me this. I just am. Nobody has to "empower" me. I just am empowered. Nobody has to take me away so I will know this. I just am grand, because being a woman is grand.

It infuriates me when women act like this is a new concept. Or one you have to repeat to yourself or "teach" to each other.

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I care for Men. (Little men, mostly)

They have immense worth. And they can be powerful in this world.

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Powerful women are women who know who they are.

And powerful women make powerful men.

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Sometimes I feel like I am their only champions.

I Am LOVING These Mormon Messages Lately

Forgiveness

Lately, I am trying to keep computer time down and trying to play with the boys more. But have you seen all of these fantastic Mormon Messages? I sit and bawl through them all. Love them and had to post the inspiration. This is why we do what we do. The Gospel is true.

Daily Tweets

• 08:39 There has just GOT to be something interesting we can do today... #

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Daily Tweets

• 17:33 Making dinner for the missionaries. Nothing exciting, unfortunately. #
• 22:36 Finally settling down after a surprise birthday party with wonderful family and friends. Mad props to Aaron for pulling it off. #

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Daily Tweets

• 18:54 Yesterdays batch of pesto made some rocking pizza tonight. Too bad I cook for preschoolers. #
• 18:55 You know, one day, I won't have to coax them into finishing their pizza slice. Right? #
• 18:57 ...and by extension, I won't end up eating the rest of their pizza slices...and then finishing off those cookies to drown the guilt. #

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Daily Tweets

• 09:20 Morning without exercise #10. Somewhere inside of me there is a skinny gal screaming because the fat girl is sitting on her and eating pie. #

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