Stir Crazy

Hyrum is driving me LOCO today! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. He is really into wanting to touch everything right now...everything he shouldn't be touching. Like the garbage, for instance. What is so extremely exciting about a kitchen garbage? Nothing, I tell you. But if you are Hyrum, it is the unexplored treasure trove of items to examine and then casually drop on the floor. I feel like I am spending my days running after him and cleaning up. Or, if I am not doing that, he is whining and holding onto my legs...only until I pick him up and he immediately demands "dis" (while pointing to some object that he should not touch, like a pushpin)and distorts his body into some unnatural position in an attempt to get close enough to the object to get it. It is about this time of day that I start to get a little annoyed at the fact that I have not been able to get anything done that I needed to (a hot dinner is now something I can only remember, vaguely). So usually I try to take him on an outing (like to Grandpa's office or something...anything), but today we are waiting for Aaron to call so I can pick him up from school...so, anyway, I am impatiently awaiting this weekend when there will be cousins congregated in one place where Hyrum can play with them and be entertained.

Plus, the other bonus is my anniversary. I have some surprises up my sleeve for Aaron and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to 'get away' for awhile with my husband, and be a wife (read: not a mommy) for a couple of hours.

I am counting down the minutes.

Weekly Recap

Highs

Hyrum taking a few unaided steps
Making cream cheese ice cream (yes, there is a recipe for this, yummy!)
Sharing a twinkie with Hyrum and watching the delight on his face
Finding a new friend in the ward
Getting lots of comments on the food at Evening of Excellence like: "Oh, you guys had it catered?" "Who made the food..." "You should start your own catering business" "Do you do weddings?"
Finishing the Food science book and starting one about George Washington
Having my first official Organ lesson
Hearing Hyrum say "done" all by himself when he is finished eating
Walking the treadmill 60+ minutes and feeling fabulous
Spending Saturday afternoon with Mom, making food (let's be honest, she really made most of it...I chased and consoled Hyrum the majority of the time)
Watching snipets of the BYU game
Re-arranging and deep cleaning my kitchen!
Spending sunny Saturday morning on a drive with Aaron and Hyrum
Enjoying how cute Hyrum looks in stonewashed jeans, a T shirt, and a suit coat (sports jacket)
Bajio's, yummy
Anticipation of Thanksgiving and family visiting
Hearing that Clarke and Aliesha are having a Girl!
Finding out that Amber is pregnant
Watching Hyrum get down from a bed all by himself

Lows

Eating all of the leftover tarts from Evening of Excellence the next day
Eating all of the leftover food, period
Hyrum cutting his finger on my food processor blade (it has since moved locations from a bottom cupboard to a top cupboard)
Trying to but a bandaid on a one-year-old's bloody finger
Buying twinkies...and eating more than I should
Aaron being gone until 5:38 a.m. doing homework
Again, stepping on the scale...no change whatsoever
Wasting Friday night and not being able to spend any good time with Aaron
Being so completely bored on a rainy and cold day
Yet another two weeks without a date with Aaron
Hyrum dropping one of my good glass mixing bowls on the tile--it shattered, of course
Throwing up
Hearing Aaron throw up
A perfume bottle falling off the top shelf and hitting Hyrum just below his eye, giving him a lovely bruise

Who put her in charge of food? Whatever happened to BYU mint brownies and Sparkle?

Well, since I haven't blogged for several weeks, I am at a loss for where to start. Hyrum wetting the kitchen floor with glue mouse traps stuck to his hands and leg? Halloween and the attendant festivities? Winning the "best soup in the world" contest at our Ward Party? Coming home to a dead mouse in the middle of my kitchen floor (again) and little bloody mouse tracks all over my kitchen (and I mean all over)? Hmmmmmmmm. Maybe I'll just stick to Today.

Right now I am putting together the "refreshments" portion of our Young Women 'Evening of Excellence'. This year it is an "Academy Awards" theme so I wanted to make the refreshments more like fancy appetizers. Mom and I have been brainstorming and we came up with the final menu last Tuesday night while watching Martha Stewart's Apprentice. The menu is as follows:

Stuffed Mushrooms
Savory Shish kabobs (skewers of marinated tortellini, olives, zuchinni, and grape tomatoes)
Frosted globe grapes
Lemon cream tarts
Sugar dusted brownie cubes
Sweet bread assortment (pumpkin and banana nut) (not to be confused with a sweetbreads assortment)
Crudite (Fresh veggies)
Chilled sparkling wassail

And all of this for a budget of $30-$40. I love this kind of stuff--trying to come up with a menu of balance between colors, flavors, and textures. It is soooo much fun for me. I can't wait to plate them all and see how it looks. I know, I know, it is a Young Women's function and I am really going to be the only one who even notices this little buffet. Most people will look at it and be like "great, they're serving food." But, who cares. It is fun for me to make it beautiful.

See I am not the crafty type. I don't scrapbook. To be honest, scrapbooking seems like a HUGE waste of time and space to me. And crafts...well let's just say that I am not as talented as I would like to be. Ok, I can't make a stick figure cute. But when it comes to food...now that is a genre I can get into. Happily, it is also a nice diversion from actually eating food. I am just as content (or more so) to plan, cook, plate, and serve beautiful and delicious food to others as to eat it myself.

Speaking of which, I just finished reading Anna Karenina and just started reading What Einstein told his Cook--a funny and captivating book on food science written by a very witty chemist. I think this is my favorite thing about being home--having the time to do things that I love.

The Birthday Bash

Well, Hyrum made it through one year with me as his mother. Now that is a feat! We had such a fun day yesterday. Aaron and I could not wait to give him his present so we set it all up and presented it to him first thing in the morning. We got him a "busy ball popper". He seemed to get the hang of it.

We spent the entire rest of the day preparing for the party. Hyrum and I made mummy hot dogs, ghost potatoes, witches brew punch, and graveyard cupcakes. I was somewhat stressed out when 5:30 rolled along and I dropped a bowl of vegetables on the tile, which shattered everywhere--just as the guests were scheduled to arrive. But, Aaron saved the day and swooped in and cleaned it all up. He could see that I was starting to stress and he was like "Deborah, don't worry about it, I'll get it..." He knows me so well. Everytime I throw some kind of party I get down to the wire right before showtime and I start to really stress about last minute details. Aaron, on the other hand, is a master and helping me through it and we always have a good party afterall.

Not many people ended up showing, but we had a lot of fun nonetheless. Those who came were: Richard, Suzanne, Abby, Parker, and Ella, Mom and Dad Baker, Mom and Dad Jackman, and Kim Starling (Aaron's cousin).

Hyrum was an angel and had a blast with his cousins and the new toys and books. He is really lucky to have family that care and love him so much. Hyrum even got a package from his Aunties and cousins in Vegas! (We wish Lukie lived next door...)

I looked horrible--I never got a chance to shower or do makeup (this really doesn't come as a shock to those who know me well), so I was in grubbies--but the food looked good! All in all it was a great day!

Ok Kids, Let's Review

Highs

Halloween candy--candy corn, pumpkins, jelly beans, etc
Turning around and seeing Hyrum standing by himself in the middle of the room without holding on to anything
Going to a live jazz concert with Aaron
Leaving Hyrum with a babysitter, and not worrying about him all evening
Sharing a couple of Entenmann's buttermilk old fashioned doughnuts with Aaron
Bleaching the kitchen floor, bathroom sink, tub, and toilet, and disinfecting Hyrum's highchair, all in one afternoon while Hyrum napped
Handmaking Hyrum's birthday party invitations
Eskimo kisses from Hyrum (his newest past time)
Sarah stopping by for a minute
The haircut is starting to grow out
One week of walking the treadmill for 60 minutes at 3.7 mph which, according to the machine, equals about 513+ Kcalories
Talking to Clarke on the phone Sunday night
A surprise visit from Dad
Spending all day Saturday with my two boys
Watching Hyrum delight in "helping" Aaron fix the weather stripping on the doors (picture Hyrum, fascinated, trying to help Aaron hold the drill)
Buying two gallons of whole milk--officially Hyrum's new beverage as a one-year old (no more formula, hoorah!)
Purchasing baloons, streamers, glitter, ribbons, etc in anticipation of Hyrum's big birthday party
Listening to Aaron for fifteen minutes trying to convince Meridith to blog about how a boy "winky-winkied" at her at work
Having a visit from the exterminator
Strolling and dreaming through Williams and Sonoma with Aaron for a "date night"
Enjoying 1/2 pound of hot and gooey macaroni and cheese (from the deli) with the Hy-guy
Making "no-bakes" and sending them to Mer mer
Mom and Dad coming over for dinner
Taking popsicles over to Sean's house for Mer (for a picture, see the official Jackman family blog)
Having Aaron flip through a "Better Homes and Gardens" magazine and saying that he would like to try the "Pesto Walnut Turkey Breast with Onion Thyme Gravy" (He is a man after my own heart...he has come a long way since our early days together...plain chicken, plain brown rice, and broccoli...)

Lows

Experience after experience with Hyrum, realizing that, sometimes, I am not the best Mom in the world
Mouse #7
Eating nearly 1lb of "Cowboy Mix" in about a day and a half (cowboy mix: pumpkins, candy corn, jelly beans, good and plenty, and boston baked beans)
Budgeting (or lack thereof)
Going absolutely loco--stuck at the house without my bike, the car, or the stroller
Getting a babysitter only to get to the Temple a few minutes too late
Watching helplessely as Aaron carries the burden of 19 credits and the attached homework/stress load
Falling asleep with the light on...again
Hyrum's horrible diaper rash
Stepping onto the scale with giddy anticipation only to find that I have...gained one pound (I don't know...maybe it is the cowboy mix...)
Mutual night's "Lip Sync" debaucle
Being consistently late to pick Aaron up from school with no good reason why
Changing seven dirty (not just wet), sticky, messy diapers in one day

Best Wishes to Happiness

So I talk to Happy pretty much every other day. It is one of the highlights of the week.

Yesterday I blogged about her dilemmas in the boy department. Today I thought better of it. Obviously it is a very sensitive subject to her, no matter how funny and/or matter of fact it seems to me.

So, instead, here is a delightful picture of beautiful Happy. She would like to marry the man of her dreams one day (soon). We all need to pray that this will happen for her. If for nothing else so that I can throw her the huge bridal shower that I always dream of hosting. (Yes, deep down it is all about those refreshments...)

Happy (bottom, far left) and "Marc" (above her)

Another week, another review

Highs

Bundling Hyrum up and bicycling with him in the rain
Making chocolate chip cookies (and not eating all the dough) that would rival even Meridith's best batch
Spending a cold and blustery evening eating homemade soup with Mom Baker and Hyrum while Aaron worked on the Buick (see "Lows")
Dad Jackman visiting for a minute during dinner
Watching the BYU vs NM game Saturday night
Talking to Amber on the phone in Virginia
Walking the treadmill for 50+ minutes at a time, daily, and loving it
Making a dish of chicken cordon bleu that I would give me right arm to eat again (I don't know why but it tasted AMAZING this time...probably the fact that it was at the end of a Fast Sunday had something to do with it)
Having the crop of spider infested ivy pulled out from around the house
Actually communicating with Celio, Grandma's "Mexican worker" in broken Spanish (I felt distinct joy in being able to understand and speak back to him in Spanish and it made me want to take out all my old Spanish literature and flash cards to review.)
Watching Mom communicate with Celio in Espanol mucho mejor than me
Long evenings dreaming with Aaron about the future
Having insulation put into the roof and enjoying the immediate benefits
Getting a haircut (just the experience alone)
Spending Friday night with Aaron and Hy-guy at Bajio's. Yummy!
Watching Hyrum voraciously stuff his little face with fistfulls of Spanish rice and black beans at Bajio's
Spending cold nights snuggled up to Aaron and reading Anna Karenina

Lows

The boy haircut
Finding out that the Buick has more than just simple "brake problems"
Overextending the budget because of said Buick
Furthermore, having to use the blue diesel station wagon in the meantime, ironically named "blue thunder" by Dad Baker (though, this could also be on the "highs" list because it is actually pretty fun to drive, albeit stinky)
Having the insulation guys empty the attic of its various contents (including wooden planks, a crate, and a huge old antenna) and leave them on our front lawn (these items in conjunction with the old rocking chair that is still drying outside and "blue thunder" make our house look like white trash central)
Seeing mouse #5 scurry across the kitchen floor
Aaron working on homework until 4:00 a.m.
Narrowly escaping another childhood accident with Hyrum: finding him innocently holding one of the set mouse traps in his hands that, for some blessed reason, didn't go off
Eating 3/4 of a batch of cookie dough
Cooking the other 1/4 and eating them too

Oh yeah? Well your Mom looks like a boy!

Usually Carol does a great job. Like last time. But this time...it was like she was taking out some aggression on my hair. Whack! Whack! Now I look like a boy. Actually, it is more like Julia Roberts hair in "Hook." (Gasp!) But it will grow out, you say? But you don't really go anywhere anyway, you say? That's not the point! Why is it that when I finally save up and go...to an actual "stylist"...it's like I am always trying to achieve the "she looks nice" status and never quite getting there. No matter what I do, I look like a tired Mommy. If it's not the hair, it's the outfit. And vice versa. It's really sad. When I go shopping now, I always seem to gravitate towards the sweatsuit/exercise/sport/lounge-wear. Anyway, I am determined to grow this hair out to sexy status and lose enough weight to fit all my Banana Republic pants. Maybe by next summer...

Bye the way, I don't know why nobody has nominated me for "What Not to Wear," yet. How many years do I have to wear three day old, oversized, paint stained, sweatpants in public before someone takes notice.

Ok, I am being a little dramatic. Besides, Aaron says that he likes the haircut and that it is "cute." So that is really all that matters. I just have to wear pink and a lot of makeup.

A Brief Moment in the Rain

Because today is so drizzily and blustery I thought that another poem would be appropriate. (Sorry, Susannah.)

This is one that I wrote during one of my creative writing classes at UVSC. The assignment was to write a Haiku. This is what I turned out--obviously not a Haiku. However, though I didn't technically do the assignment correctly, this poem did get picked up by one of the literary magazines of UVSC later in the year. (Notice the allusion to a kiss. About 75% of my poetry from this time of my life has some reference to kissing. Hilarious. So me.)

the searing flash
of angry electricity
waltz and curve toward
my house, and mouth, agape
like the conclusion of an
unpredicted kiss

Week In Review

Highs

Walking on the treadmill daily
Enjoying walking on the treadmill
Sticking to a diet for at least a couple of days
Getting several quarts of grape juice from grapes in my backyard
Girls night out during "Priesthood session"
Watching Hyrum eat Thai food with passionate zeal
Eating Thai food myself
Watching Hyrum discover new toys
Spending Friday with Aaron
Spending Saturday with Aaron
Crisp cold yet sunny days with only the screen door closed
Getting carrots and chives from my own backyard
Riding the bike with Hyrum to the grocery store in the cool fall afternoons
Conference
Seeing Meridith
Seeing Meridith spend over $100.00 of her own money on clothing!!!
Spray painting the ugly gold foiled rocking chair white
Trying on clothes at Gap and looking (somewhat) good
The starting of a new month and a new month's budget
Getting paid for used baby items (see "lows")
Eating the salad from Pizza Factory (yummy!)
Talking with Happy in New York

Lows
Eating chocolate cake for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, and dinner
"Teaching" the beehives to "make" biscuits (ok sister baker, now that I, like, mixed all the dry ingredients with the milk, when do I put the shortening in?? [Sister Baker: "AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHH")
Hyrum getting electrocuted by touching the exposed wires on the treadmill
Touching the exposed wires myself to "see if they are what hurt Hyrum"
Hyrum knocking a giant can of food off the shelf only to land on his toe
Standing on the scale and seeing the exact same number as last year (in November)
"Talking" with Aaron about Walmart and the "responsibilities of businesses in society" for over two hours
Hyrum falling out of the stroller at Banana Republic
The horribly embarassing experience of trying to sell used baby items to "Kid to Kid"
The BYU football game against SDSU
Having nothing in the fridge except for milk, water, old grapes, swiss cheese, an apple, some rubbery carrots, sour cream and condiments
Feeding Hyrum chocolate cake for breakfast, spice cake for lunch, and white cake with peaches for dinner (what kind of mother am I?)

"You know, these are some nice Grandmas you've got here." - Aaron Baker, pointing to my five generation maternal line picture on the wall

I started a food journal this past week. I thought maybe that it would help me to figure out why I eat. But, I was thinking about it. I know why I eat. Because it is FUN, it tastes yummy, sometimes I am bored, because everyone else is eating, because I am on the phone with Happiness, because it is in the fridge etc, etc, etc. Pretty much, if I am breathing, I am thinking about what next to eat. Over the weekend I made and then ate an entire fresh peach pie....and then at least half of a large Papa Murphy's pepperoni pizza. Granted, it was dang good. But really, I have a serious problem. We're talking "shift the whole focus of my life" problem. But, I am determined to overcome. I actually look at biscuits and cookies and say outloud to myself "Skinny girls don't eat you. I won't let you ruin my diet. I won't let you keep me from fitting into my white Banana Republic pants next summer."

This little psychological exercise only works about 20% of the time, unfortunately. I just keep giving myself reasons to break the diet. "It's Sunday." "It's Friday." "I have guests over." "I need to make something 'fun' with these peaches." "I should make a treat for the neighbors." "I need to make something 'fun' for Aaron." "It's Saturday." "We need a treat for Family Home Evening." "It's mutual night."

So, anyway, Mom and I moved her treadmill over to my house last Friday. It is now in my basement and I have actually used it several times. I sincerely enjoy exercising--that is not my problem. My problem comes in the over-indulging in eating. I mean, probably 'one piece' of peach pie would have been fine. But no. I have to eat the whole thing.

I am trying to learn to replace eating with something else...

This is a post, written by Susannah, from the family blog. It is so hilarious. I am amazed as Susannah amazingly accurate dialogue from weeks ago. Even reading it now causes me to burst into a fit of tummy cramping laughter.

(Deb and I were hungry at about 10 p.m., so we drove around my area of Vegas looking for some place open. We went to Papa Johns and they were closed except for deliveries and we didn't have the cell phone with us. Then we went to McDonalds and tried to walk in, but the doors were locked and a lady inside was waving at us and yelling, "The drive-thru is open!" We were crying from laughing so hard and we were spazzy...let the hilarity ensue)


McChick: "Welgum to MaDonods; can I tik yo oder?"
Deb & Sue: *SNICKER*
Sue: "Yeah, uh...just a minute"
...
*SNICKER*
...
Sue: "It says hashbrowns next to the fries, can I get hashbrowns at night?"
Deb: "hahaha. I dunno. Ask her."
Sue: "Is she there? Can I just start talking?"
Deb: "Just talk."
Sue: "Uh....hello?"
McChick: "Huwwo? Can I tik yo oder?"
Sue: "Yeah, uh, can I get hashbrowns at night?"
McChick: "What?"
Sue: "Hahaha. It says hashbrowns by the fries, can I get hashbrowns right now?"
McChick: "No"
Deb: "Hahahaha!"
McChick: "Can I tik yo oder?"
Sue: "Uh...just a minute. Hahaha."
Deb: "I just want a hot apple pie. I'm going to get two of them. I just want a hot apple pie."
Sue: "hello?"
McChick: "hewwo?"
Sue: "Can we get two hot apple pies..."
McChick:"We're out of those."
Deb & Sue: HAHAHAHA.
Sue: "They have peach. Just get peach."
Deb: "I. DON'T. WANT. PEACH! I WANT A HOT APPLE PIE!"
Sue: "Hahahahahahahaaaahhhahaaahahaaa!"
Deb: "I'll have a hot fudge sundae."
Sue: "Ok, uh, can we get a hot fudge sundae."
Deb: "Lets get chicken nuggets.
Sue: "How many?"
Deb: "Uh...5?"
Sue: "K, we'd like the 10 pack of chicken nuggets."
Deb: "Two cheeseburgers."
Sue: "And two cheeseburgers. And a BigMac meal with a diet Coke.
McChick: "Will that be all?"
Sue: "Yeah. And a hot n spicy McChicken."
Deb: "Hahahaha!"
car behind us: **HONK, HONK!**
...
Sue: "Hey Deb, did I get my fries?"
Deb: "Yeah, they're right here" *shoves fistful in her mouth*
...
Deb: "Wow, that was a lot of food."
Sue: "And you still have two cheeseburgers left."
Deb:"Uh..." *sheepish grin*
Sue: "One?"
Deb: "Ok, so I'm fat!"

To Elizabeth

Here is another poem, written in my pre-married/pre-children days. I love it how I would write poems about topics that I really had no idea about. But, isn't that just like me anyway--to wax poetic and think that though I had never been there, I understood it anyway.

Today I am dedicating this poem to Elizabeth--a woman with enough passion left to can. She'll know why.

"Honey"

Honey-buttered bread
is what we'd eat
those evenings
when she'd hold her breath
waiting
for me to settle down, to doze off--

the golden drips
that echoed the flame in her eyes
would fall and burn stains on the carpet under me.
Across the table,
she'd smile at my stickied, baby-tooth grin.

But sometimes,
from a corner
I'd watch her clean the stickiness
and observe as her glowing mask
would briefly crumble to surface
a bored woman--

drenched in all that honey
and dish towel hair
playing housewife, wiping nose--
patiently canning her passion in bottles
for pouring on later
like
honey
on bread.

Yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day after all. The beginning was somewhat stressful. I had about a million things on my mind...teaching the lessons for sunday school (family history and temple work) and for the beehive class (every person is divine and eternal), singing in church, visiting new beehive girls, packing for vegas, getting to the airport on time, making the flight bearable for Hyrum and/or passengers around us, etc. Aaron was a huge help all weekend basically putting everything on hold to help me. He was wonderful. I am so lucky to be married to him

The airport experience began on a tense note. We were running a tad behind...then when we got there we found that the plane had mechanical problems and was going to be delayed "at least an hour" and was "booked solid" meaning that I would have to hold Mr. Wiggles on my lap the entire time. (If I was a believer in bad omens, now was the time to panic. September 11th, flying, plane with mechanical problems...) Anyway, so Aaron said goodbye to me and a very very very "I missed my afternoon nap" tired Hyrum at about 6:20 p.m. and the security check in. Unfortunately, we didn't finally board the plane until 7:50 p.m.

But, Hyrum was an angel. He happily played with other little kids in the "play area" next to our terminal the entire waiting time. He was such a sweet little soul exploring the new toys and periodically looking up at me with happy red rimmed eyes.

Then, they let me board first and it turned out that the plane was NOT booked solid and so I took the car seat right on with me and buckled him up in his very own seat...far away from people (there was about five empty rows between us and the rest of the passengers). He seemed to enjoy the ride and it was fun to see his different reactions to the new sensations of takeoff, turbulence, and landing. The two stewardesses were quite taken and spent a lot of time showering extra attention on Hyrum. He loved it. It was so fun for me because I spent the entire flight talking to and playing with Hyrum. I go to look at him...really look at him and see how handsome and sweet he is. We laughed together and interacted and I discovered, much to my surprise, that he is no longer a little baby but a very alert and intelligent little boy. I found out that he is getting a new tooth that I can actually see. I also discovered that he waves hello and goodbye. He is also vocalizing so much. I love to hear his squeals of delight, babbling, and watching him as he picks up food and feeds himself. He is so sweet. My heart nearly burst with joy to be able to be with him and have some time just to sit there and enjoy it. It was quite an experience.

After we landed we waited until the plane was completely empty before we got off. One stewardess carried the car seat out for me (we had to use the stairs from the plane out to the runway) then another man took the seat right from her and carried it to the terminal for me. Then as I was juggling the luggage, Hy-guy, and the seat to baggage claim another man came up and took the car seat for me. Everyone was so nice and like I said...Hyrum was a perfect angel. Elizabeth and Susannah met me with a bag of candy. Life was almost perfect. Just add Aaron Richardovitch and we would have had a done deal. Heaven.

It's Autumn Time, It's Autumn Time

So, we are officially starting our Fall menu in the Baker house. Friday we had homemade creamy pesto over penne, grilled chicken, and yellow squash. Divine. Saturday we had "Autumn Chicken": Chicken, lightly breaded, with pears, cranberries, garlic, green onions, and walnuts; wild rice with herbs, and red cabbage. Not only was it good. It was Gorgeous on the plate. I think that next time I make it I will take a picture. We had fresh peach slices with whipped cream for dessert. YUMMMY. So yesterday we tried a new recipe: "Ham and Apple Skillet". It was pretty good. Ham, apples, onions, carrots, etc in a creamy mustard sauce over brown rice. Top that off with a heaping spoonful of homemade cinnamon pear crisp and fresh whipped cream. Tonight, French Onion Soup...

As to my "diet", ummmm, it's suffering.

The Crazy Man I Sleep Next To

Well, Aaron is taking 19 credits this semester. And he is also working and TA-ing in addition to that. I thought that the semester that Hyrum was born was bad, (Aaron working at Target every other night while I spent my evenings and early mornings alone "napping" and breastfeeding...) but this one...well we'll see how it turns out. I am trying to figure out how to be "supportive." Supportive is such an illusive term, I am finding. What does it really mean anyway. It is an interesting position, being the wife. Don't get me wrong, I mean, it is a lot of fun, but you get put into a passive role sometimes. Translation: supporter.

Motherhood, the Grand Experiment

Hyrum is the funniest little person that I know. He is so smart and I have a hard time not laughing and smiling at him when I should be making a stern face and saying "no, don't put that ladybug in your mouth." It is just the look on his face that kills me. It's like he crawls around the house as fast as possible (almost to the point that he topples over head first) stuffing whatever he can find on the floor into his mouth as quickly as he can before I get over to him. He has this mischevious twinkle in his eye all the while and I have to wonder to myself if the half masticated ball of lint in his mouth is worth the effort of prying open his tiny pursed lips.

Of course there are some things that I have to draw the line on. Like the electrical outlet in his room that almost constantly fascinates him. He would love to spend his days pulling his nightlight out and putting some other toy into the hole. The other day when I saw him crawl over to the outlet with his hand poised to grab the light, I said "Hyrum" in the most grown-up and authoritative voice I could think of. Right as I said his name Hyrum didn't miss a beat and let his little hand, which was in mid-air ready to latch upon the light, come down in a perfect swoop to pick up a toy that was laying on the ground next to the outlet. He then turned to me with a look like "what, I was just going for this toy, Mom." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. He is so smart. It is so much fun. I find myself waiting for his naps to be over so we can play again.

And Now a Poem

This is one of my early metaphorical poems. Obviously I was very very single at the time.

Inadequate affection
(but sufficient attention)
thrives in my pool.
Where swimmers can float long days
without once touching
the slippery butter slimy floor.

No life saving tubes are by
the edge
discretion and personal skill is all that
frustrates a beginner.
Water wings or not,
my pool is placid, graceful, surprising.

The stability of such a place was
long ago
compromised by monthly passes
separate depth markings,
he and she bathroom stalls,
taller and even taller jumpy boards;
but now can sleep
inert, paralyzed, frozen;

or dance, lively and choppy.

In my pool the gates aren't closed
and the line is not long
the ticket takers booth is as
empty as an orphans hug,
but the water is warm
and the air is sticky and heavy.


If you hate poetry, which I am finding many people do, don't take this one too seriously. If you don't "get it" read it again and think of the emotional rollar coaster of dating and what-have-you when you were seventeen or eighteen years old. There you go.

"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti" - Sophia Lauren

I'm having a hard time figuring out how to start this blog. I want to be witty, like Susannah's blog, so I feel a certain amount of pressure to add humor to every line. On the other hand, this blog is for me. (Ha, that sounds a lot like "this Bud's for you.") It is where I can continue writing--something I love to do and haven't done since graduation. There was a time when I considered myself a "good writer." So let's hope that that little ability hasn't gone by the wayside since the advent of Motherhood...like my, now non-existent, ability to jump on the trampoline without wetting my pants. I guess, all we can do is cross our legs...I mean fingers...and hope.